My Long, Ultimate (But Not Really), Super Personalized Television Shows List

Hello my lovely readers... if there's anyone still out there.

I apologize profusely for my long absence. It has been a long several months in many ways - academically, personally, and in the entertainment and art world. I've seen many a movie and many many a television episode. I do not have much new to talk about or analyze. I could do quite a bit with We Need to Talk About Kevin, but I'd rather not because that would be digging too deep into my personal life and I really want to talk to my therapist about my relationship with that movie. I could talk about how things like We Need to Talk About Kevin and Breaking Bad, amongst many other things, remind me of my weirdly complicated relationship with my brother - which shouldn't be that complicated considering we've spoken very little with one another in about a decade. This is a subject matter I fully intend to explore through my film work. Expect lots of bizarre stories of young men and older brothers.

Right now, I feel more like discussing something more to my liking - making a list. I will delve into the personal realm (as I always do) as I plan to write in this post the master list of all the television shows I have ever watched (well, dedicated more than an episode or two to) and my experiences with them. Some I will brush over quickly, others I will talk about more extensively. This has little to do with whether I think a show is great or terrible. I will leave my thoughts as these shows as art and entertainment to another post another time, but here I do plan to explore my relationship with each of these shows. So, I hope this is enjoyed and I hope you don't mind that it's not as analytical or exciting as anything I'd like to write but this is what I want to write right now.

Note: I am skipping over a fair chunk of the television I watched as a kid. Things that have stuck with me, or that I've rewatched more recently, are more likely to be listed here. But things like Sesame Street, which, though great, I haven't watched since probably the mid-nineties isn't going to make it on this list.

Note Part 2: I will be including a lot of television I watched sporadically (as, pre-Heroes I didn't watch most television regularly). This will all be noted below.

Let us begin...

- 10 Things I Hate About You
Originally, I thought this show would be stupid. I loved the original movie it was loosely based off of and this was going on ABC Family. It also didn't get renewed. I also never finished this show. But it was actually kind of enjoyable and I liked being proven wrong for once. The sisters were good... the boys, especially the supposed-to-be-Joseph-Gordon-Levitt one weren't quite so solid. I haven't been able to bring myself to finish it because I know it won't be satisfying as it was canceled.

- 2 Broke Girls
Being as this is a more recent show, I've watched it from the very beginning. I'm thinking of quitting it now though. I love Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs as the leads, but the show doesn't seem to honor their talent and chemistry well enough. And I'm worried about messy mythology - which, for me, is essential in a good sitcom or any show really.

- 7th Heaven
I'm not (too) ashamed to admit I've seen every episode. I watched the first seven seasons in reruns and then started watching it from there. Not going to lie, I even embraced fan fiction for this one. I enjoyed the middle seasons where it started making fun of itself but wasn't as melodramatic as it started out and ended. I admit it's all pretty friggin ridiculous, but it was on after Gilmore Girls reruns on ABC Family afternoons so I ended up watching it too... and Smallville.

- 8 Simple Rules
I never got super into this one - I watched some reruns and caught a few new episodes. It was before I got into regularly watching television.

- All That
One of my childhood loves - I didn't get the Disney channel until I was about eleven or twelve (when it became part of our basic cable plan) so Nickelodeon was my place. It deserved to be too - shows like All That really were fun and kind of funny - especially to a kid who didn't get Saturday Night Live humour yet.

- The Amanda Show
Same as above. I watched both sometimes regularly, sometimes sporadically. I've probably seen most of the episodes of both, if not all of them at one point or another. With All That, though, I know they brought it back for years after I stopped watching with people whom I know nothing about so, at least for The Amanda Show, I probably watched it all.

- America's Funniest Home Videos
Some of them were really hilarious. Some weren't. Sometimes I watched. Frequently I didn't.

- American Idol
My relationship with American Idol is actually a fun story. I watched the season one finale, just the very end, where Kelly Clarkson won and sang "A Moment Like This." I was always into music and that's the moment I decided to be a pop star and eventually audition when I was old enough. I started watching around the Top 8 of season 2 and then watched regularly seasons 3 through 5. Then I was old enough to audition. At that age, 16, I wasn't sure I still wanted to do music, but I decided to go through with it anyway. As you can probably guess, I didn't make it. Didn't even make it to the proper auditions you see on screen. Not surprising to me (I was nervous as fuck all) and I didn't mind after a bit of childhood dream-crushing. See, American Idol started to literally put me to sleep in the 5th season. I would eat dinner, start my homework, half-watch TV, put on American Idol, pass out halfway through, sleep for a couple hours, finish my homework, then go to sleep proper. It was a regular thing. Nights when it wasn't on, it would be another show that would put me to sleep. Sophomore year must've been an exhausting year (oh 15/16-year-old self, I don't think a single year has been chill since). I watched a bit of the season 6 premiere to look for any sign of myself and then recently part of the NY auditions in the most recent season (where I recognized a girl I'd taken a PoliSci class with flirting with Steven Tyler... oi).

- Angry Beavers
Watched frequently as a kid, probably caught most of it. Seems funny to me now that I know other meanings of beavers.

- Animaniacs
This is how I learned e=mc2 amongst many other important things as a child. Watched a fair chunk, though not particularly regularly.

- Arrested Development
Currently progressing through (halfway through season 2). Everyone told me I should watch it. So far I'm really liking it. Like I've mentioned above, mythology is everything to me. It screams consistency and care in any television show. It doesn't have to be huge or central, just present.

- Batman
This live action Batman TV series was my show as a kid. It was my introduction to Batman, even before the animated show. Seeing the porno Batman XXX inspired by the show was wonderful too - the porn parts didn't matter to me but OH MY GOD was it hilariously pitch-perfect to the old TV show. I love this shit. Believe me, I love almost all of Batman, but this is my origin story.

- Batman: The Animated Series
A continuation of my love affair with Batman over my life, I've seen most, if not all, of this show. I started rewatching it a couple years ago (having downloaded the whole show) but got really lazy about it and stopped in the single digits.

- Battlestar Galactica (2004)
Well, if you know anything about my love for television, you know about my love for this show. One of my favorite television shows ever, I've seen every episode at least twice (though I admit to skipping over "Black Market" most of the times I've rewatched it), seen all the webisodes, and I own the entire series (TV movies included - well, not The Plan, but I've seen The Plan... it's kind of crap). 4.12 and 4.13 are probably my favorite episodes in the series, and Laura Roslin is likely my favorite character. She's one of the best female characters ever and that Mary McDonnell never got an Emmy nod is bollocks. Same about the show, but Jesus Christ especially her.

- The Big Bang Theory
Started watching this a couple years ago, caught up on the entire series, and have seen it all. It's got its moments and I do like it overall, although I understand discomfort with it - it can be pretty clear that the people behind it are painting a picture of nerds they know, not nerds they are.

- Bill Nye the Science Guy
Like any kid who took science in the '90s, this man is everything and his show was the highlight of science classes to me (until I took chemistry in high school and fucking loved it). We got a history teacher in 11th grade named Chip Nye and we had a kid in our class named Chip, which was in place of William - so we all hoped desperately that he was Bill Nye the Hist'ry Guy. Alas, that wasn't his first name, we had him for one class, he ended up in the hospital, and we never heard anything about him again.

- Boy Meets World
Boy Meets World was one of my favorite television shows growing up. I started watching it just as it ended its run at the end of the nineties/the early '00s and watched reruns constantly. I've seen it all and loved it all (even the more blah parts). "Chick Like Me" was one of my favorite episodes ever. Mr. Feeney was the best - one of the few folks I've ever splurged on a graphic tee for (I gave up on graphic tees generally when I was about 15 or so - now I buy them once in a blue moon for good reason - my Mr. Feeney T-shirt, my Nightwish T-shirt, my Hunger Games themed teefury T-shirt, my Leon Botstein T-shirt, and my Harry and the Potters T-shirt). I laughed, I cried, I admired Shawn's hair, and I to this day believe in the power of the contents of my purse to reveal everything about me.

- The Brady Bunch
My lesser of my two favorite shows in the Nick at Nite line-up, The Brady Bunch was good wholesome fun but also kind of dull at times. Still, I watched pretty much all of it. I still don't believe they never thanked Alice before that one episode though.

- Breaking Bad
This is my newest current project. After telling myself I'd watch it for years and being told to watch it by anyone whose site I read (and my brother most recently - though he was actually telling our parents but I'd been planning to eventually anyway), I finally dove last evening. I'm still on season one and slowly working my way into it. The scene with Jesse's family, so far... it makes me think this is who my brother might paint himself as. When I watch shows I know my brother loves (like this and The Wire), I see how he looks at them from what I know about him. He used to dress like Jesse. Still sort of does. Used to consider himself pretty "hood" but he had a nice wholesome home to come home to and a younger sibling, whom I can bet he imagined had conversations about whether to continue the piccolo or oboe. Just to let you know, Drew, we never had fucking conversations like that, considering I don't play any classical instruments and I had the decency to continue playing saxophone into college even though that drumset mom and dad bought for you went unused for years after you quit a year and a half into it. Ahem. Like I said, my personal life has been on a mind a lot lately. Excuse me.

- The Cape (2011)
Unlike Abed, I gave up on The Cape pretty quickly. I fell behind after the first four episodes and then it got canceled and I never bothered to catch up. I wanted to like it - I did like it - but it didn't work out between us.

- Caprica
Did you not read above how everything to do with Battlestar Galactica is my life? No? Well then, I've seen all of Caprica. I started from the beginning. I remember seeing advertisements when I visited my roommate in L.A. - I was so excited to see them. I was so excited for the show. Overall, I really did like it, although I liked 1.0 better than 1.5. Tamara's episode where she conquered the Matrix essentially... best. And Daniel threatening Zoebot with fire. Beautiful shit.

- CatDog
Watched this here and there as a kid. Never got very attached. As I had a cat and a dog, I found the premise pretty amusing though.

- Chuck
I started watching Chuck from the start because it aired with Heroes, which was my favorite show at the time. By the second season, Chuck was one of my favorite shows on the air. I even attended Chuckfest 2010 when I was in L.A. with my roommate (whom I had gotten into it) and watched the third season premiere there. I admit I've fallen behind on the latest season (the latest twist at the end of season four was not my favorite to say the least) but I intend to get back into it by the time my beloved series ends.

- Clarissa Explains It All
Oh Melissa Joan Hart - you were everywhere in the nineties. Including in my television when I watched the occasional rerun of this.

- Community
I started watching this from the start and have kept up with it lovingly. I own the first season on DVD as of a couple weeks ago. Community is one of my favorite shows ever and possibly my favorite sitcom ever. I love all the characters and admire Abed's dedication to pop culture I could never reach and, most of all, I relate most to the show as a whole and its feelings and opinions because very few shows have that sort of character of its own you can touch (that aren't simply the lead character) and feel connected to.

- Cowboy Bebop
Someone suggested I watch Cowboy Bebop when I was fifteen because the way we were Role-Playing Atton and Mira (from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords) reminded her a lot of Spike and Faye's relationship. I caught the second half of the third episode at about 2AM that night on my tiny TV in my room and was intrigued. I caught the entirety of the fifth episode a couple days later. I fell in love. I borrowed the first five episodes from a friend who was super into it, then bought the entire rest of the series myself. I've seen this show a number of times, and the movie, and it is one of my favorite shows ever, competing most frequently with Battlestar Galactica for that top spot. I named my cat Spike after Spike Spiegel. And more than the show itself, I absolutely love the music. Anybody who's seen the show would say the same. Being a saxophonist myself, the jazz music (and the many genres the music actually covers) was a revitalization of my love for music that had fallen away and assurance that being a saxophonist was super boss and a good thing to have chosen to identify as. I have never gotten sick of the music at large (though some songs, of course, have lost their touch). I've learned some of them on saxophone, including "Tank!" of course. I wrote my own song to the tune of "Goodnight Julia." That music, that show, made me love jazz. And I love jazz.

- Dexter
I'd started hearing a lot about Dexter after its fourth season, now that I had started listening to the winds of pop culture and the entertainment world. So I started watching. I worked through the first four seasons, assured I would love Lilah by an acquaintance and then hating her with a passion, realizing that season one was my favorite by a longshot and that I still liked the show overall. I've kept with the show, liking it and being disappointed in it in equal measure. Mos Def was the best part of season six and the big reveal came too late and in an otherwise blegh finale. But I won't quit it yet. I care too much about what happens next.

- Dexter's Laboratory
Who, my age, didn't watch this as a kid? Goddammit, Deedee, gtfo of his lab already! I've seen a fair chunk of this show though possibly not all.

- Doug
I really have no attachments to this show, though I watched it pretty regularly as a kid.

- Downton Abbey
Marathoned the first season early last semester after I'd started hearing about how good it was and loved it dearly. Then season two came and wasn't quite as brilliant, though still good, and thank god for that Christmas Special.

- Even Stevens
Shia LeBouf, I will always remember you as Louis Stevens and Stanley Yelnats, even if I questioned your casting as Stanley at the time (Stanley was supposed to be Caveman! He was supposed to be bulky!). I watched most of this show in reruns once we got Disney.

- Falling Skies
All the reminders to me of Battlestar Galactica have helped me really like this show more than I might have expected. It's not brilliant, but it's pretty good and I like most of the characters (even the teenage son - which is weird because teenagers on TV usually suck unless they're the main cast... when they still might suck but it's a bit more up in the air). Mostly though I love finding connections to one of my favorite sci-fi series.

- Firefly
Speaking of brilliant sci-fi, I finally watched through Firefly over the summer. I wasn't sure that I'd like it as much as I did because I'd been told for so long by so many people how great it was, and been told more underwhelming things by a few others. But whether it's a great show or not, I loved it. The movie too. Reavers are the most terrifying embodiment I've seen on TV in a long time. And man oh man was I all for Kaylee and Simon to live happily ever after. Spoiler alert, but someone told me the end of Serenity was like a bloodbath so I was expecting the worst. I was so glad I didn't have to watch everyone die like I expected.

- FlashForward
Well, Voldemort's younger brother Shakespeare was the lead and I find him mighty attractive and I was intrigued by the show and I stuck through it and watched it all and discussed it and liked it pretty well, but I wasn't so impressed that I was at all disappointed when it was canceled.

- The Flintstones
Watched this sporadically but quite a bit as a kid. This and The Jetsons were a big thing back then. My whole family were big fans.

- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Seen most of it via reruns. Oh Will Smith, I have adored you.

- Full House
I've seen the whole series, most of it multiple times, thanks to reruns. This is one show I regularly watched reruns for (and there were a lot of them) throughout my adolescence. I still watch reruns of it occasionally. It's got its moments. I liked the three dads routine. It also made my home feel pitifully small. Most TV I watched as a kid made me feel isolated. I did live on top of a hill at the end of a dead-end road in a rural town filled with lots of old people.

- Game of Thrones
Started watching this from the beginning and have seen it all. Nothing much to report, besides my love for how goddamn attractive Robb Stark is.

- Gilligan's Island
This was my favorite of the Nick at Nite crowd as a kid. Man oh man I loved this show. I loved that island. I loved the whole goddamn thing.

- Gilmore Girls
Like its other ABC Family rerun friends (7th Heaven and Smallville)), I started watching Gilmore Girls via reruns. I saw the first four seasons that way (the best seasons, in my opinion, culminating in that beautiful kiss between Lorelai and Luke and Kirk running naked out the front door). I watched the rest of the show as it aired regularly. Even though the secret Luke daughter drama and the Rory boyfriends drama (I was always, ALWAYS partial to Jess and think he should've been the one) got tired, Stars Hollow was always the best friggin place ever. It and Mystic Falls are my favorite fictional towns. Stars Hollow probably wins though because a lot less people die there. But they're both so adorable and tight-knit and event-y!

- Glee
I've seen it all (except the most recent episode) I'll admit. I loved it, I hated it, I have had extremely mixed but mostly annoyed opinions about it and I think it is one of the most ridiculous things ever. Even the covers, which were wonderful and fun at the start, have gotten terrible (for the most part). I mostly enjoy the show when it's just performances and no really dumb and inconsistent drama. This show is one example of how important continuity is to me. It's hardly existent here, thus I kind of hate Glee. I can't quit it though because it's such an interesting trainwreck to watch.

- The Good Wife
I caught the first two seasons over the summer, watching them through rapidly and realizing how much I was falling for this show and its brilliant cast despite its appearance as a procedural (I am generally not into procedurals). I can accept procedural format when the weekly-cases-of-whatever are actually interesting (like House in the first several seasons). Luckily, here they are, and here everything outside of the cases is even better and there's a lot of it, but it moves at perfect pacing. Not too quickly, not too slowly. Just right.

- Gossip Girl
I wasn't expecting to get into this. There was a really funny tumblr that featured pictures of outfits Chuck Bass wore and had cute snippy commentary for each. I realized how much I loved the fashion and began watching with that in mind. I really did enjoy the first two seasons very thoroughly, though. After that... I kept watching, liking certain parts and hating others, and enjoying overall the melodrama and still loving most of the fashion. I can accept Gossip Girl for being pretty terrible most of the time because it seems so self-aware most of the time... even if it does recycle plots and misuse guest stars pretty badly.

- Heroes
This was a big turning point in my television watching career. I wasn't regularly into television until Heroes. I didn't even watch it from the start - I got into it about halfway through season one. I started it, I caught up online, and I was addicted. I recommended it to everyone I knew. I obsessed. I loved the wiki for it with all the hilarious "fan theories" about Mr. Muggles. It made me want a Pomeranian. I even stuck with it lovingly through season two. I watched season three as well, enjoying moments more than the show overall, bonding with fellow college students as we watched it in a small group on Mondays after the Gossip Girl crowd (before I watched the latter). I even started watching season four. Then my parents' DVR ate the next few episodes and I was so disappointed in the show I had once loved that I gave up after the first two episodes of season four. Only once has someone defended the fourth season to me. I never went back.

- Hey Arnold
I hated how cool Arnold was. I hated how he could ride alone on a subway at age nine. I hated how isolated I was and that he had the freedom in a big city. I watched most of this, if not all, and hated it but not really - it was a good show, I was just so envious.

- Home Improvement
I watched this intermittently as reruns for the most part. This was Tim Allen's introduction to my life. And in Toy Story of course.

- Homeland
I heard this was good. It was fucking brilliant. My favorite new show of this season. Claire Danes has been a loved actress of mine for years even though there hasn't been much for me to celebrate about her (besides Temple Grandin last year, which was amazing). Now there is. So much to love, so much to think about, so much to look forward to.

- House
I started watching House in its fifth season. I concurrently watched the current fifth season while catching up on the prior four seasons on DVD. I even hid away a lot during our annual Thanksgiving trip to western New York to watch more of the back seasons on my laptop. I was rooting for House and Cuddy all along. Then they kissed. And then I stopped watching, because I got sick of how far the show had fallen and how bored I had gotten with it.

- How I Met Your Mother
A few summers ago, I decided to try HIMYM. I blazed through the first four seasons, while catching up on True Blood at the same time. Even though I'm not sure how much I love it anymore, the mythology has always been a strong point and the importance of callbacks and quirks has made me appreciate the effort and time put in. The characters have gotten a bit obnoxious the past couple years though. I still watch, but enjoy the drama more than the comedy these days.

- Human Target (2010)
I was super into this show, even though I never finished it once it was canceled (I made it a fair way through season two). It was greater than I think most people gave it credit for and one of my favorite things, as I've blogged about before, is its similarity to Cowboy Bebop. I also love action. I grew up on James Bond, loved MI4 recently, and dug the action in this.

- Invader Zim
I watched a bit here and there but, to be honest, I never liked this show or understood exactly why it caught on so popularly.

- The Jetsons
Like I said above with The Flintstones, this show was a great jam as a kid. I loved sci-fi in all forms, even dorky domestic ones.

- Johnny Bravo
I watched it here and there. The most I can remember is how much my mom loved this because she loved that Johnny treated his mother so well. I wonder if this was around the time my brother started treating her like crap. He grew out of it but there were several years (his teenage ones for the most part) where he was really dickish to her.

- Kenan & Kel
I watched a rerun of this a few weeks ago and it still feels fresh to me. I will defend Good Burger for all eternity because I love that shit... even if it is shit. And I loved both Kenan and especially Kel. I always wonder what happened to Kel. I watched most of this, if not all.

- Kim Possible
Ron Stoppable for some reason frequently reminds me of Ron Weasley. Kim was so badass - it was great. It was fun and I watched most, if not all, of this awesome set of missions.

- Life with Derek
I watched this show here and there and, have to admit, this was one of those times, since I was a bit older than a kid, where I was just focused on how much the two leads needed to hook the fuck up.

- Lizzie McGuire
Like any other girl my age, I've seen it all. I loved and hated Lizzie because she reminded me of myself so much. She was better and worse. But mostly better because she was a TV character and I was a real kid whose middle school years sucked massive balls enough to switch schools.

- Lost
I found it poetic that I started watching Lost on the day of its series finale. I watched it from the start, though, on hulu. I dove right in and marathoned through quite a bit. I made it to about halfway through season 5. I'd managed to spoil quite a bit for myself. I'd known from the start that Charlie died (I originally had thought I might watch it for Dominic Monaghan until I heard he died... and something about polar bears on a tropical island...) but I also found out about a handful of sixth season deaths. Then I joked to a friend that everyone died in the end and I knew. She, having seen the whole thing, lamented to me about everyone being dead. And then I was like "WTF I DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW THAT." I never finished it. One day I might.

- Mad Men
I started in the second season, marathoning the first on DVD. I've loved much about this show, but especially Peggy. Everything about her, everything she's done, how human she is. And "The Suitcase" is one of the finest episodes of television ever, in my humble opinion.

- Misfits
After the second series had actually ended, I thought I might as well try this show - I loved superpowers after all. I really enjoyed it all, even though I was skeptical about the third season and super pissed off during the second season Christmas Special. Simon had been my favorite for a while, and like anyone, I loved Simon and Alisha together. Tumblr spoiled that for me before I bothered to finish season three though. Alas.

- Modern Family
I'd heard it was good, so I watched it, and it was good and it still is, though not the best.

- New Girl
I was skeptical at first, but it's grown on me as I've kept at it. And mostly Schmidt. I'm one of those people that liked the douchejar.

- Nikita
The pilot didn't impress me much. But since then, being a sucker for action and great female characters (especially leads), I've fallen pretty in love with the show. And Owen. Because he's skilled and super hot.

- The O.C.
There was a time when I watched this! About halfway through the first season, I started in. I wasn't super into each episode, but there's always be an amazing tease for next week, so I'd have to tune in. This continued for about a year, until I missed an episode about halfway through season two. Then I realized that I didn't really feel the strong desire to keep watching anymore. I hadn't been teased with a promise that wouldn't be fulfilled, so I stopped.

- Once Upon a Time
I've watched the first few episodes with friends. We've had a brilliant time mocking and somewhat enjoying the ridiculous fairytale drama.

- Parks and Recreation
One of this past summer's discoveries. I marathoned quickly through the first three seasons. I completely understand everyone's love for all of the characters. They're amazing and wonderfully presented by the writers and the actors. I've kept up and fully intend to until the end, whenever that may be.

- Phil of the Future
Phil was adorable. I watched this sporadically, though quite a bit. Another show where I just wanted the guy and girl to friggin hook up. They were clearly meant to be.

- Pinky and the Brain
I watched this plenty on and off. Home of one of my favorite catchphrases ever. "What we do every night, Pinky... try to take over the world."

- Pokemon
Possibly the first show I ever watched regularly, I would arrive home after school in the fourth grade, drop my backpack, plop on the couch, and immediately watch Pokemon at 4PM every weekday. I've seen a fair chunk of the (very long) first season and a sporadic other episode here and there. Recently, my friend and I started rewatching the show. We've made it about halfway through the first season. I miss Charmander. He was the cutest fucking thing ever. Pikachu also is. And Mew in the Pokemon movie. So. Cute.

- The Powerpuff Girls
I watched this loads as a kid, seeing a fair amount of the show overall. Bubbles was my favorite. Probably because she was blonde and wore blue (my favorite color at the time).

- The Proud Family
Al Roker has never been the same to me after this show. I watched most, if not all, of this. It, along with Kim Possible, was one of the animated series that was in my adolescence with me and was worth the time I put in.

- Recess
I wish I had watched more of this as a kid. I watched quite a bit, but not all of it I am sure. It was witty and great and in retrospect it's one show I regret not having spent more time on.

- Revenge
I was curious about the good reviews it was getting, and have been with it from the start. If not for Homeland, this would be my favorite new show of the year. I really hope Daniel dies though. I'll be disappointed if they don't go through with that tease. Madeleine Stowe is amazing. And Nolan is everything I wanted him to be and more, so far.

- Rocket Power
I watched this pretty often and probably saw a good chunk of it. I hated it though. Like Hey Arnold, part of it was the independence these kids had. Part of it was the fact that our leading man was a dick, though. He was just kind of an awful kid.

- Rugrats
Having watched Rugrats very frequently as a kid, it was the first place I realized I really wasn't into potty humour. I liked everything else about the show and found it quite funny but I could not stand behind the potty humour, even after reading an essay about body humour in children's lit.

- Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Melissa Joan Hart part II, since this actually aired when I was attentive enough as a kid, I probably saw more of it than her other show.

- Saturday Night Live
I've never been a regular watcher of SNL, but I've watched enough episodes that I wanted to include it here. There's a lot I've loved, and a lot I've found distinctly unfunny. I hate Seth Meyers' Weekend Update. I rarely find it funny and he's always almost laughing. He made the "Founding Fathers would shit themselves due to cars if they were here, not care about our politics" joke I thought was hilarious and thought I had come up with in the fourth grade. Come on.

- Saved by the Bell
I am not sure how much of this I actually watched, but it was the first drama I actually watched as a kid. I was pretty young when I saw most of it and got a lot of my impressions about teenagers and high school from it.

- Sex and the City
I've never watched it regularly, having been asked to watch it with friends and watching reruns here and there when it's on TV. Everyone always asks themselves which girl they are. Everyone wants to be a Carrie right? I'm probably more of a Charlotte though with a bit of Miranda thrown in there. I'm probably none of them really because I'm actually Sarah.

- Sherlock
Just marathoned this about a week ago, I am so glad I was convinced to watch this because it's fucking brilliant and I love it.

- Sister, Sister
I'm pretty sure I've seen it all. I found the boyfriends interesting and I loved the later years, weirdly enough. The appendicitis bit is etched into my brain forever. My appendix has never been removed so every once in a while when I'm paranoid it's ruptured, I think of the scene in this show.

- Smallville
I watched the reruns of the first four seasons of this on ABC Family. I was intrigued, as I've always been pretty into superheroes (thanks to my indoctrination into Batman as a young child). I was into them, especially the mythology because, say it with me I love mythology. I started watching the fifth season regularly when it started up. I got bored though and didn't feel like bothering anymore and gave up. I've seen an episode here and there since I gave it up and am glad I did.

- So You Think You Can Dance (US)
Summer before last, I realized I should watch this show. Why? Because I love watching people who can actually dance. So I started with season seven, while hunting down the previous seasons online. I started season one but got so bored with it that I stopped just after the performances began. Maybe it was the lack of Cat Deeley. Maybe it was so many people whose dancing was not being challenged or really shown off that much. But when I started season two, I was in love. I watched all of the back seasons while and after I watched the seventh season and found my favorite routines and dancers and wanted to talk about it always. I watched last season too and, while I enjoyed it thoroughly, I can say confidently that my favorite seasons are three through five.

- SpongeBob SquarePants
I'm pretty sure I watched the first episode ever when it aired. It was the perfect timing - I was nine and watched a lot of TV, especially everything on Nickelodeon. I watched it quite a lot for the first few years (though not regularly, frequently enough with enough reruns that I probably saw most of it at the start). Then I grew out of it and it continued anyway.

- Star Wars: Clone Wars
I almost forgot about this short lived series of short episodes. It was boss. I watched it all, bought the DVDs, and watched it with a bunch of friends at school in the senior lounge senior year of high school during free periods. At one point, there were like six or seven of us watching, these two girls came in, Lexi and Shaina, and gave the TV and us this look (Mace Windu was being super badass, as per usual) and asked us what we were watching, why we were watching it, and if they could watch something else. Considering how much we were enjoying it and how much we outnumbered them, we turned them down and they, disgusted, left. Whatever.

- The Suite Life of Zack & Cody
I've hardly watched the spin-off, but I watched most of the original. Since I got Disney a bit later, as I was hitting adolescence, I watched a lot of Disney TV at an age when I might have been getting a little old for it. Just a little. I stand by the PRNDL over stickshift. I loved Brenda Song here. Like, legit - she was perfect.

- That's So Raven
Oh psychic Raven... you were so cool. I watched most, if not all, of this.

- Tom and Jerry
God knows how much Tom and Jerry there is and how much I've actually watched, but whenever I want something chill to watch and there's a Tom and Jerry rerun on, you know that's my channel.

- True Blood
As I mentioned above, I was marathoning True Blood's first season and the start of its second as I was marathoning How I Met Your Mother. I had started the former thinking about the gay rights metaphors I'd been told about. I also just really enjoyed Eric's existence and was pretty into Sookie/Bill. I hadn't decided whether I actually liked the show or not. I don't think I ever have, even though I've watched it all now. I don't think I like it much anymore, although I might have used to. I might quit it next season. I can only handle so much ridiculous camp.

- The Vampire Diaries
I was surprised when I heard this was actually good. I figured I didn't like vampires much. I couldn't get through Dracula when I tried to read it and Twilight was obviously dumb. I had been watching True Blood but wasn't sure I liked the vampire part of it. I'm still not sure I like vampires but after actually giving The Vampire Diaries a shot, I realized how awesome it was. I realized, and explained to friends I recommended the show to, that the diaries in question weren't really the angsty journals kept by the leads but, to me, were the old journals kept by folks like Johnathan Gilbert during the Civil War era about the vampires plaguing the town. The mythology of the show is great and never has a group of teenagers been so appealing to me (mostly because I like the adult characters too and they actually do things besides act like grown up teenagers, like the adults on shows like, say, Gossip Girl do). One of my favorite shows on the air, surprisingly. Or not so much - the pacing is also brilliant. So much happens but it never feels like too much.

- V (2009)
Alien invasion! Rebellion resistance! Shouldn't this be more exciting? I tried, and I did get into this show, really liking Hobbes in particular, more than it probably deserved (and began my love affair with Morena Baccarin). I watched it all, and was so glad at the death of Tyler, even though the show was canceled after that point.

- The Walking Dead
I was hesitant to start, but decided to try it over Thanksgiving break anyway. I wasn't sure I'd like a zombie show. The pilot was fucking brilliant, in my opinion. That poor goddamn horse, was all I thought. It hasn't been as good since, though I love crazy Shane and usually like Rick. Lori needs to act. Carl needs to gtfo. They need to get off that farm. But the mid-season finale was strong and I did get a fun zombie-related nightmare after my first night of watching. So it's progressing for me.

- The Weakest Link
Who didn't love Anne Robinson, the wonderfully snippy host of this? I loved her. I watched this pretty frequently when she was on. I was disappointed when there was a new host, but when she was around? My scene, man.

- Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Thank god for ABC Family reruns. This show introduced me to all things improv - my best friend later started an improv club in high school, which I was involved in. I loved it so much and this show made me laugh out loud more than most anything else. And they were all having so much fun, which was the best part. I've seen most, but probably not all, of this show.

- The Wild Thornberrys
Like most of my childhood shows, I saw quite a bit, but I'm not sure how much, of this show. I find Nigel's recent return to relevance hilarious. Tim Curry is my birthday buddy and I love him. It was a weird but fun show.

- The Wire
Ah, The Wire. The brilliant fucking Wire. Once day I will finish you. Until then, I will be stuck at the beginning of season three where Littlefinger appears. Where I am so sad Frank Sobotka could be so dumb. Where I am so depressed that everything always goes wrong. And so pleased that Omar Little exists.

"Emmy" TV Shows. Not Unlike "Oscar" Movies.

Sorry for the long absence. I'm a busy student/employee/television addict/etc.

But as I catch up on last night's television shows, I started to wonder to myself about "the Academy." See, lots of people complain, whine, and moan over both the Academy that decides the Emmys and the Oscars. The thing is, though, I haven't seen many people spend all year discussing the Emmys, declaring this show an Emmy show and that show not an Emmy show, whereas even everyday movie-goers will easily be talking about the Oscar chances for The Social Network or Toy Story 3.

At first glance, this might indicate that the selectivity for the Emmys is not so severe as it is for the Oscars. You'd think an Academy that would nominate True Blood might actually have its marbles in a way an Academy that shut out The Dark Knight doesn't. I think though that you'd be wrong. True Blood, for example, has certain things going for it, including an Academy Award-winning main actress, a respected premium cable channel, and a "message" (y'know, how vampire rights in the show parallel modern day LGBT rights).

Don't fool yourself; the Emmys like the same things the Oscars do. Pedigree isn't everything though, as former Academy Award nominees Mary McDonnell and Edward James Olmos will tell you, having worked for years on a never-nominated critically-acclaimed little series called Battlestar Galactica everyone who knows me knows that I adore. It takes a certain class that comes, especially these days, with being on a premium cable network, which is why even though I haven't seen an episode of Boardwalk Empire, I'm convinced it will land several nominations next year. Because it's on HBO, it's classy like Mad Men, and it takes itself seriously.

As I'm sure the Buffy fans have lamented for ages, taking yourself seriously can be a big thing. I feel like one of the more common complaints about Mad Men would be a sort of "stuffiness" about it, coming from its slow, melodious pace and seriously fragmented (and often disliked) characters.

But the comedy category, you declare! Comedic shows are appreciated for irony! Just look at Glee? Though I decry Glee and watch it, such a contradiction as I am, Glee is actually something of an interesting anomaly in my opinion. It's a high school show, it's a musical, its pedigree is really not that impressive (Matthew Morrison and Lea Michele are the main show there - I won't count Jane Lynch, despite loving her more, because an unfortunate amount of not-young people don't realize how much she did pre-Glee). Glee's popularity comes from a more modern High School Musical approach - but you didn't see High School Musical get nominated for Best TV Movie, did you? Despite whatever sucks about Glee, it is kind of impressive for it to have gotten the formal recognition it has.

Besides Glee, however, the comedy area remains pretty locked for sitcoms and serious premium cable comedies (i.e. Weeds, Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm). And, to be honest, the only reason Glee might get nominated again next year is because the current freshmen sitcoms are rather slim pickings, so I'd be prepared for a full-on repeat in the comedy series category.

Sitcoms are cute and quaint. They're very old-fashioned. Even Modern Family, which I watch and like and is lauded for its advancement, follows your old-school format of following a family around and seeing all their funny, morally-inclined hi-jinks in a short half hour. If there was a movie equivalent to sitcoms, actually, which there really isn't anymore, I'd be surprised if it got nominated for the Oscars, actually, because that area is even too backwater for them. When people talk about potential Oscar comedies, they think of raucous shit like The Hangover, which is more of a premium cable type show than a typical network sitcom.

But back to the drama category, where this all started for me as I thought longingly of The Vampire Diaries, the shockingly good show I have fallen in love with despite not being a big vampire fan and aware enough of trends to usually not be susceptible without my consent. The Vampire Diaries is a good show, hands down. Interesting characters, good plots, amazing pacing, problems are rectified, everything is reasonable, and as a bonus, the cast is gorgeous (and, so far as I'm aware, come across as respectable and scandal-free). The problems? The show doesn't take itself so seriously. Not in the same way, say, my beloved Chuck does, becoming a little bit too much of a self-parody at times, but there is an air of fun and danger that comes from a show willing to take risks, kill off a main character pretty quickly, and do a lot of things most shows aren't really willing to do. Second, the show doesn't have pedigree. It's highest pedigree right now is probably Ian Somerhalder, best known otherwise for his season-long and small recurring bit as Boone on Lost. Nina Dobrev did Degrassi. Matt Davis might be most recognizable for Legally Blonde. Seriously, this is not your A-list cast. But they're not just pretty, they're good. And, finally, The Vampire Diaries is on The CW. The CW may technically be a network station, but it is essentially trash to the bigwigs. The CW is home of Smallville and Gossip Girl, not a show that's better than Emmy-nominated True Blood (sorry, TB fans, I'm with you, but did you see the third season compared to TVD? Just, no).

Everything that might make a series worthy of Emmy recognition is simply not in this show, which is probably derided by people who've never seen it as part of the Twilight craze, as a teen drama with lots of skimpy clothes and scandal. I'm sorry, but this is neither True Blood nor Gossip Girl; there are few if none unnecessary shenanigans. High school is a setting, not a defining characteristic of the show (especially as of late; Mystic Falls is more the setting anyway, one of the coolest, cult-like towns ever). Skimpy clothes? Are you kidding me? Besides the car wash episode, there have been so few scantily clad moments. I can remember all of one legitimate sex scene in the entirety of this series. There are some sexy flashbacks, but it is nothing compared to the wild orgies of True Blood season 2, or even the least sexy of True Blood episodes. Scandals? I bet there are about five thousand more scandals in a single episode of Desperate Housewives than a full season of The Vampire Diaries. Vampire Diaries is more concerned with drama and action and zigzagging plots and surprises than with the kind of ~drama that fuels shows like Gossip Girl or One Tree Hill or Gilmore Girls (which I loved, but was soapy as hell sometimes).

Essentially, every stigma that The Vampire Diaries would attract is false. But that's true about a lot of shows that would never qualify for an Emmy nomination. There is no "Blind Side" slot in the Emmy nominees. The Emmys are probably even more out of touch with popular culture than the Oscars. Sci-fi has been at the Oscars for ages, from Star Wars to Avatar (more of a crowd-pleaser than it's-all-about-the-analogy District 9). Battlestar Galactica, despite being declared by many as one of the best DRAMA television shows ever, or at least a very good one in general, never got more than a technical nod at the Emmys.

So we bitch and moan and complain a lot about the Oscars, about the Academy Awards being old and how certain great movies will never be Oscar movies, but the Emmys are no better, if they're not even worse, especially since they can repeat old favorites in place of strong up-comers. While movies year after year can emulate and imitate older films, keeping that certain "old Hollywood" or "period movie" place in the Best Picture nominee line-up, Emmys can literally keep the same show in the running, even past its prime (I mean really? House? That show has been good at best, horrendous at worst, and meh most of the time for a couple seasons now).

And yet, few shows are looked at, saying, "this show was made for the Emmys" when one could look at, say, The King's Speech, and declare immediately "it's an Oscar movie!" There isn't a lot different between what makes television and movies appeal for "bigwig" Academies. If anything, audience size and critics matter more for the Oscars - I doubt you'll find many champions of House's last season (praise the mental institute episode all you want, there are over twenty other episodes in the season), but even The Blind Side was well-received by many, though certainly not everyone. House's audience has dwindled (and it was probably the most-watched series nominated for Best Comedy/Drama last year; remember, Glee's audience was pretty modest for most of the first season), but Avatar, District 9, The Blind Side, and Up were huge money-makers.

My point has been made clear by this point. Just like with the Oscars and movies, there will be brilliant shows that will never win an Emmy, that never won an Emmy, and probably were never seen by those who vote on the Emmys. And that's disappointing, sure, but that's life, and tastes change, though slowly, and one day all the types of shows we champion now will be detested by future generations as backwards and unworthy of admiration and we'll be clinging on.

Glee: The Rachel Problem & More

Been a little busy with the kick-off of the semester, but I'm going to try for a minor new blog post.

So. Glee.



Sometimes cute. Often talented. And also quite often a piece of gooey, unkempt, poorly-defined messes.

I like Glee for some reasons, I really do. The cast is talented, there have been some stronger episodes (particularly toward the beginning of the first season), the musical numbers are usually quite entertaining, and lately when the show just gives in to its messes (i.e. Power of Madonna and last night's Brittany/Britney) it is quite enjoyable in that format. I mentioned earlier to a friend that if Glee just devolved into incoherent musical numbers (which, to an extent, it already does) I'd still watch it and truly enjoy it for the variety/cabaret like quality it could be and is best at.

There are also many problems with Glee. The writing is often weak, continuity is crap, the "realism" is pathetic, and the treatment of minorities often stumbles off the fine-line between embracing and exposing stereotypes, not to mention giving heavy-handed speeches hand-in-hand with satirical nonsense. It's these weaknesses that make me think Glee could be just as successful and twice as entertaining if it abandoned plot all together and just played with its cast of characters as is and ran it like the best, most epic variety show/cabaret. I've always wanted cabarets to make a comeback though...

Amongst my many issues with Glee, I'd probably say the biggest one right now has a name: Rachel.



Sure, many of the characters are mishandled, underused, overused, given too much credit for their lack of abilities (I'm looking at Finn's singing AND dancing), etc.... but Rachel really takes the cake for me.

The thing is, Lea Michele is undeniably talented. She's got a great voice. I'm not sure if it's my favorite voice, but it's definitely good. Clearly, it makes sense that Rachel is often the lead. She's assertive and talented. The problem? She's an unrestrained diva who never learns from her many mistakes. Rachel is not only annoying, she is often insufferable. All together, these two episodes in the second season, I think I may have liked her for all of about ten seconds, in the latest episode, when she tells Finn that she'll stop being controlling since she's discovered her own empowerment. AWESOME. GREAT. ...and then, she goes back to her crazy, dramatic ultimatums. And I think to myself, WHO DOES THIS? What kind of crazy pills is this girl on?

Rachel has no redeeming qualities. Her personality is horrible. She is controlling, obnoxious, rude, self-centered, and displays somewhat sociopath-like behavior (her "I'm doing this because I love you" shtick in the season opener, much?). Rachel also has an obsessive personality, which means when she gets on about something, she harps on about it incessantly, because she's also a loud-mouth. Sure, she "owns up" to her mistakes, sometimes, but then she goes and does another horrible thing next week. And whoops, again, and then another thing, and then she's got a clean-slate again. Seriously, I used to wonder what Rachel saw in Finn, but what the hell does Finn see in Rachel? She's pretty and talented, and that's about it.

And the show exploits this. The show is convinced that Rachel is our hero, that Rachel really does mean well, and that Rachel is worth loving despite her flaws... because why? Because she sings really, really well, and here, let's demonstrate by having her sing a big, dramatic number at the end of the episode (the modus operendi for this season thus far, and used a bit last season as well - Episodes 2, 17, and 18). We're led to believe that Rachel is redeemed because she sings a heartfelt song, but she still resorted to crazy-ass, selfish means to keep Sunshine out of the club, and she still gave Finn a crazy-ass, selfish ultimatum. I don't see how being talented makes up for being a shitty person.

Rachel is the center of Glee's problems for me, because Glee has disillusioned itself into seeing her as someone that she really does not come off as: a victim. In the first season, somewhat, when Finn was actively ditching her, I could see it, but now she's only a victim of her own behavior. Likewise, Glee has disillusioned itself into seeing its show as a well put-together, honest, real show, when it's really just a fun hot mess. The problem is that Glee has got an epic fanbase, a great appeal, lots of merchandising, and the ratings to keep going for years.

It reminds me of the second season of Heroes, however. I knew Heroes wasn't the strongest show, but I was in love with it anyways, in love with its possibilities and its conceits. Heroes too was a huge hit when it started, if anyone can remember that a few years back. But Heroes too lost itself in numerous characters, bad writing, weird plotting, and stock in unchanging characters (including, also, an unlikable heroine with Claire). Heroes fell off ratings-wise, however, killed by the writer's strike. Heroes also didn't have built-in merchandising. It was, however, also hailed for its originality. Heroes brought superheroes to network television, Glee brought the musical. Neither were first, exactly, but they were hailed as successes moreso than others, though. It seems odd, because Heroes and Glee are nothing alike in actual context, but I simply see a lot of similar problems. Glee is so in love with itself, so doting on its fanbase, and so inconsistent, doubting that it could ever go wrong. Maybe Glee will improve; I think it has the possibility, but I doubt it will.

I'll just keep on watching Glee until it's too much of a train wreck to stand anymore (give it another season). It's still enjoyable and has its moments, but I'm not recommending it to anyone anytime soon. I learned my lesson about corrupting my poor friends when Heroes was in a downfall. There I thought it would get better and was wrong. Maybe if I expect Glee to keep on descending in quality, it will actually get sharper.

And so ends my mega-long ramble on Glee. g'night folks. I'm off to watch No Ordinary Family! I also hope that is better than Heroes. >.>

Why I Watch The Human Target

I think I've discovered what it is that really draws me into The Human Target, and it's not just the really awesome action sequences and the slowly building mythology. I know there was a fair amount of sad faces over Chi McBride being somewhat underused thus far, but his partnership with Mark Valley's Christopher Chance reminds me very strongly of Jet and Spike from Cowboy Bebop, and the whole series at large is very reminiscent of that brilliant anime series (as someone who has never gotten into a single other anime series, I believe it's a sign of the quality of Cowboy Bebop that I love it so much).



Just look at those pictures and try to tell me how different those scenes are.

I don't know how influenced the current incarnation of Human Target is by the 1992 series, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if this relationship in Human Target was influenced by Jet and Spike from Cowboy Bebop rather than anything from there. As for the rest of the Bebop, Guerrero is obviously Ed and his flaky, casual attitude is very reminiscent of Ed's excellent craziness. The host of female figures that wander in and out of Human Target play the role of Faye (although I hear a permanent female lead is coming in next season and maybe we'll get a real Faye going on). But in the end, it all comes back to Chance and Winston.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine a few years ago about the Cowboy Bebop cast. He commented about how he thought Jet was a rather unnecessary character next to Spike, Faye, Ed, and Ein, who all had their own purposes. I defended Jet, because I really like Jet and he is really the unifying link. His partnership and friendship with Spike was what was at the beginning and it was what was at the end.

Jet and Winston have a lot of those stick-in-the-mud sidekick characteristics to Spike and Chance's more reckless attitudes - they both tend to chide the lead character a lot, do a fair amount of yelling and sighing and eye-rolling, and sit to the sidelines a fair amount of the time. On the other hand, of course, it's proven in both Winston and Jet's cases that they are capable of much ass-kicking. Their histories are similar, as they are both former cops, just like Spike and Chance are the same person for their shady histories (Spike being an ex-mobster and Chance being an ex-assassin). Layer on top of that the characters of Baptiste and Vicious and their former-friend/protege-turned-rival relationships with Chance and Spike and it's kind of hard to distinguish the differences between these two series. They also both alternate between mission-of-the-week/bounty-of-the-week and the overall mythology of the series. And, of course, the mysterious dead(?) dame - Victoria is Chance's Julia - a badass woman worth falling for.

Human Target and Cowboy Bebop have their differences too, of course, namely that the bounty hunters of Cowboy Bebop are mildly less successful than Winston, Chance, and Guerrero, but even then, both Spike and Chance are infamous for causing major, expensive damage in the line of duty. Bounty hunting is also much different than the work Chance does, of course, which is essentially the opposite of bounty hunting.

But besides the series' similarities and differences, the central relationship between the reckless lead and his more sobering partner is one of my favorite parts of Human Target which, to be quite honest, makes better use of this relationship than Cowboy Bebop (but then Cowboy Bebop's got Faye, whom I adore to bits and pieces and I love all of her scenes with Spike so freakin' much).

Human Target doesn't attract a huge audience, which isn't surprising but is still a bit of a disappointment. It follows the good television rule of half procedural and half mythology, allowing current fans to be pleased while not shutting out potential fans. I'm really pleased Human Target's got a second season at all, even if it is in the death slot of Friday. I'm really excited to see more of the adventures Chance, Winston, and Guerrero go on and see a hint more of the mythology. Of course, I doubt the show will last much longer, but I can live with that. After all, Cowboy Bebop only has 26 half-hour episodes and it's still brilliant.

So You Think You Can Dance? (I know I can't.)

This summer was dedicated to Lost early on, but I have strayed toward So You Think You Can Dance since then. My interest and dedication to SYTYCD has gone so far as to make a chart of the genres each contestant has performed in and how many times. Now, as the finale is only six days away, anyone who has talked to me knows my preference lies with either Robert or Lauren. I like Kent, don't get me wrong, but he is not my favorite contestant now or ever, even though he has had some really good routines. But you know who else had good routines? Billy and Alex and Ashley and Cristina and AdeChike and they're all kaput (I personally loved both of Cristina's routines before she was cut; she really should've made it a week longer than Melinda).

My main problem with Kent is that, though he has certainly grown as a dancer and as a person, the growth is much more apparent in his competitors at this stage. I've always liked Robert and his goofiness never bothered me, but his goofiness has become less of his personality and more of an occasional quirk as time has gone on. He has proven himself a serious, beautiful, and talented dancer. If AdeChike had learned how to let himself go more, he could've been the strongest looking partner on the show, but since he didn't, that honour goes to Robert, in my opinion (also, if Alex had lasted longer he might've taken that crown). Lauren has always been freakin' talented. We didn't get to see too much of Ashley to know how talented she was, but the other three girls were no rival for Lauren's skill (even though I will consistently remind the world that Cristina surprised me hugely in her two weeks on the show, but alas, we only got two weeks of her). But Lauren seriously has tackled so many genres and conquered them. She never looks uncomfortable or awkward and she's gotten really good at getting into character. Not to mention that the package when the other top six described each other and Lauren was pegged as the weirdo she became my hero. Also, the zillion and a half activities she does? I don't care that she's two years younger than me; I want to be Lauren when I grow up.

Comparing the remaining dancers, I can go on and on about how Robert's disco was better than Kent's and how Robert's hip hop was better than Kent's or how more physically stronger Robert comes across in all his ballrooms where Kent still looks like a kid, but I think that it's fruitless at this point to really hope for a Robert victory (as much as I want it). Robert's had a journey making it out of the bottom 3 the times he has (WHY? WHY did it take so long for the audience to wise up to the fact that AdeChike, despite all his strength and talent, just couldn't bring the it factor to most of his routines save three - contemporary with Kent, hip hop with Lauren, and lyrical hip hop with Comfort). I am so freakin proud of Robert for making it this far because he has been surprising me since the first week and winning my love over the course of the show.

But even Kent's greatest routines leave me unwilling to vote for him. Maybe it speaks to personal preference, but I'll take Robert's goofiness over Kent's rambling messes of speech anyday. I just don't get Kent, I guess. Talented, yes. Appealing to younger audiences, yes. But he is not the strongest contender on the show, he has not been the most attractive on the show, he has had some really stellar routines, but he makes the same consistent mistake week after week (as Mia will happily point out, the pulling of the faces) and that still didn't lose him any steam, although apparently it did for AdeChike eventually (his lack of connection and looseness in many of his routines).

It's kind of disappointing that the dancers who've grown the most have been the ones who've been in the bottom more. Lauren overcame her "girlishness," Robert overcame his goofiness, and Billy overcame his own problems with partnering as shown in his freakin' gorgeous contemporary with Ade last week. But Billy's gone and Robert was at risk of departing the competition several times and even Lauren's been in the bottom. But it took three weeks to give Melinda the boot when she wasn't growing, it took way too long to give Jose the boot after he'd stopped growing, and if Kent's got more growth to show, he is taking his sweet-ass time.

For this reason, I'm really glad Kent got disco. I'm glad Jose got that Broadway. Because choreographers can hide a contestants weaknesses all they like and get praise (a la Jose's pretty Sonya contemporary routine with Allison, which was pretty but really didn't need much skill from Jose), but it's important that a dancer's weaknesses are shown too. If the audience ignores them, whatever, but it's important to see them nonetheless. Through this we can understand what the problem with the dancer is. The problem with Jose, for instance, was that he was all personality and very unrefined talent. The problem with Kent is that as adorable as he comes across, there is a lack of strength there too. The problem with Melinda was that, even with a partner as talented and gorgeous as Pasha, she still didn't even bother to connect with him either time she danced with him, though it was very clear HE was trying.

I am happy with the finale three we've got, though, because as much as I complain about Kent, it's not because I don't think he's talented. I just think he would've deserved his potential win if he'd have auditioned in a couple seasons, when he he could actually exude more maturity, especially outside of the dance. Because when he dances, it is possible to forget the "farmboy" he is (well, in his best routines, like his contemporary with Lauren, or with AdeChike, or with Neil). But once the dance is over, I remember why I am not a Kent fan.

If only Alex Freaking Wong were still around! If it was Alex, Robert, and Lauren in the top three my dreams would've come true. But next season! Next season, dearest Alex will be back and the judges better get Anthony Burrell into the top 10/20 next season. I was annoyed enough when he didn't make it this season. :(


PS: I saw Despicable Me. It was pretty darn cute.

Worst Episode of Good Shows - COMPETITION TIME

(edited 2:20pm 6/12/2010 - added synopses)

Before wasting sleeping hours rewatching episodes of So You Think You Can Dance (my latest obsession... and my return to actually enjoying reality television that isn't What Not to Wear or on HGTV), I managed to finally watch the much-hated episode of Lost that, in my anticipation, I compared to Battlestar Galactica's "Black Market." Not just for being totally useless as an episode, but also for the negative reaction and the admission of the actual creators that "hey, we made a crap episode." I also mistakenly thought the chick in Lost was also a hooker... but seriously, besides being a psychic tattoo genie or whatevs, she probably is. I mean, look at those clothes. No self-respecting woman would dress like that in dark alleys unless she's trolling for something.

So the verdict? Which sucks more? "Stranger in a Strange Land..."



...or "Black Market"?



First a brief, biased synopsis of both:

"Black Market" - After the success of the awesome Pegasus story arc and Roslin's life being saved, the show decides to kill some time with dear ol' Lee Adama and a random prostitute named Shevon that we're supposed to believe he's been seeing and is seriously into. Colonel Fisk, Cain's successor in commanding Pegasus, is killed and Lee is asked to investigate... why Lee? I'd think this is set up for Lee's ventures into lawyerhood later in the series, but it's a season too early, so it's more like a convenient plot device. Lee finds out that Fisk was involved in a black market that's been happening in the fleet (OH NOES) and then Shevon's daughter gets kidnapped and Lee feels responsible because he's been playing house with the kid and totally creeping her out. Oh and this is the episode where we start to see Dee and Lee flirting together, which makes me hate this episode even more for ruining my darling Billy's life. But anyway, back to the main suck of a plot, Lee goes after the head of the black market, kills him, and tells off the black market, but not entirely, more like "just don't take important stuff... oh and kids, kk?" Roslin gets pissed, but Bill lets Lee's arrangement go ahead. So essentially, NOTHING HAPPENS. We never hear from Shevon again (partially because she's not interested in playing house with Lee and partially because NO ONE CARES), the black market is never mentioned again, the fleet doesn't change at all, and... yeah. Pointless. Then the next episode we watch Starbuck get totally wasted, try to have drunken sex with Lee, and then almost kill herself for the billionth time, until Kat shows us that she doesn't suck as much as she used to.

"Stranger in a Strange Land" - This episode also kicks off after some intensely awesome stuff happening. Last episode was Desmond centric, which was great because Desmond is great, and we learned all about course correction (which, a few years later, FlashForward blatantly rips off in its failed attempt to be the next Lost) and how the universe is trying to kill Charlie. So what does the audience get next week? Zero Desmond, zero Charlie, and a whole lot of Jack, Kate, and Sawyer. Before Kate and Sawyer broke out of their cages, that would have been interesting, but instead we watch Kate and Sawyer bicker and lose Carl and find Carl and Sawyer lets Carl go and there's all this tension about having dead man walking sex and nobody cares because they reach their own island and that's about that. Jack's regular plot isn't so horrible, although the whole time I keep thinking Jack is being totally conned, but I think I was proven wrong, for like the first time ever when it comes to these characters conning each other. But anyway, Jack tries to protect Juliet for killing Danny or whatever his name was when she was letting Kate and Sawyer go. She's supposed to be killed, but he gets Ben to take that option off the table, so Juliet gets marked in a tramp-stamp way instead. Jack applies aloe. Fresh aloe hurts, I can tell you that. Tension is born, but I don't want it (as much as Juliet is growing on me). There's also some random sheriff chick, Isabel, if I remember correctly, who can read Jack's tattoo and all around just acts like a douchebag. The main problem with this episode though, of course, is the flashback. Jack is in Thailand to find himself (...) and starts by flying a kite on the beach (...) when he is helped because he can't fly a kite to save his life by some pretty thing that can speak English and is totally dressed like a hooker (... yeah). Jack and the chick start sexing it up and it appears she comes and goes as she pleases in his bed. They also fall off his bed at some point. Oh man, THAT was exciting. Then Jack drunkenly stalks her like the loser he is and finds out that, though she's dressed like a total hooker and wandering in dark alleys to some secret place and receives huge envelopes of money, she's not a hooker (well, maybe, I'm convinced she still is) - she's a MAGICAL TATTOO-IST. She can see who people are, so Jack acts like a douche and forces her to tell him and tattoo him although he's an outsider. Happy-go-lucky Jack leaves his house the next day, freshly inked, and creeps out some kid and then gets beaten down by the chick's brother and some of his friends. Jack presumably leaves Thailand now, having gotten inked. Whoo. I'll take the not-supernatural tattoos, please.

Well, those weren't that brief, but for being totally pointless, both episodes do eat up roughly forty-five minutes. THE VERDICT?

Honestly, it's a tough call. I was going to say that "Black Market" sucked more until the tattoo genie chick was all "I AM NOT A TATTOO ARTIST - I SEE THINGS IN PEOPLE." But it's tough, because I'm still really down on "Black Market" for its stupid retcon with Shevon the prostitute and her daughter, Lee's surrogate daughter for the one that exploded in his (OUT OF LEFT FIELD) pregnant girlfriend before she was born that Lee left before the apocalypse in the Twelve Colonies.

I also give favoritism to Battlestar Galactica for being a show I like more. No offense, Lost, but you move at a snail's pace at best. By the middle of the third season, Battlestar Galactica's characters had all frakked each other, made war and nice and war again with the Cylons, and had tackled issues of genocide, survival, abortion, crazy religion versus politics, religion in general, suicide bombings, forced occupation, and biological warfare. Lost has... coined some cool catchphrases, killed off a lot more central characters, and toyed with maybe two or three of those topics. Seriously, Emmys, can I hate on you times a zillion for ignoring Battlestar Galactica for, like, six years? And yet, giving the prize to Lost which, although being a great show in its own right, is still no BSG. There is no show like BSG.

Ahem. But we're comparing these episodes against one another, not the shows against one another. So I think I still might have to go with "Black Market" sucking more. Because, although Jack's flashbacks totally bite and the Sawyer and Kate plotline is just infuriating as per usual with them (and Kate lately has been pissing me off even more than usual), Jack's current day plot wasn't made of total suck (just partial suck). I mean, at least "Stranger in a Strange Land" fits within its narrative better. The question of Jack's tattoos is one that nobody cares about, sure, but nobody even asked "huh, I wonder how Lee's prostitute surrogate girlfriend and her daughter are doing?" BECAUSE THEY NEVER EVEN EXISTED BEFORE OR AFTER. Jack's tattoos at least will always be there. So now if anybody asks about them, we have the boring lengthy answer of that useless episode. But "Black Market" isn't just a useless episode but a horrible episode that disgraces everything that Battlestar Galactica is. Despite the occasional melodramatic bits of the show, it's usually pretty grounded (luls, har har, see how it's funny - it's because it's set in SPACE most of the time).

I do much more appreciate the controlled flashbacks of Battlestar Galactica, that held onto them mostly until the finale (save a bit of Kara flashback to Zak and ignoring the preggers!gf flashbacks of ten seconds Lee has in "Black Market" ...oh and the Final Five's memories on Earth) and just offered a couple character-defining moments that were really some of the most beautiful, sad, and touching moments in an otherwise action-packed and ending-packed finale. Lost, for being innovative in its use of flashbacks, also tends to overuse them on some characters (particularly Jack and Kate, but most characters really don't need like ten centric episodes. NOBODY is that interesting. Even Eko, for being fucking awesome and wicked interesting always only needed the three episodes he got). I long for the episodes where nobody gets a flashback and we can all live in the present because I am BORED with their pasts. I get it. Kate and Sawyer are criminals with hearts of gold. Jack had daddy issues. Charlie had drug issues. Locke had major daddy issues. Hurley was fat and crazy and is still fat and may still be crazy. I honestly don't care that much because that means half of the time the plot isn't moving forward, which is frustrating because already so much that is set in the present plotline isn't moving anything forward.

But this post wasn't supposed to be about Lost's shortcomings (though I could go on for quite some time with both praise and critique) - it is about the competition of bad episode against bad episode. And in that competition, "Black Market" takes the rotten tomato, mostly because of its horrible retcon in combination with the other bad elements that it shares with "Stranger in a Strange Land."

As my darling Television Without Pity ends their brief description of "Black Market" -



"Roslin is displeased with everyone and everything. She is right."

...and goodnight.

PS: I got McDonalds - TWICE, actually - and that commercial still won't leave me the fuck alone while I'm watching Lost on hulu.com, no matter how many times I say that the ad is not relevant to me. It is one of the few ads, if not the only, I have said that about. I AM MAD AT YOU, HULU.

Lost.

Yep. That's right. I decided to finally jump on the wagon.

Granted, this isn't a big surprise. I'd been meaning to watch the show since forever, but then I heard about the polar bears and was all "nah, brah, I ain't touching that shit." I vaguely remember the whole Lost versus Heroes thing too and I was all sticking with Heroes.

Ha. Smart choice.

Anyway, so with the series finale the following day, I kicked off watching Lost (because hulu put up the entire freakin' series) last Saturday (not the recent one; the one before).

I am this far:



Yeah... that episode was kinda totally dull. I actually managed to get some reading done during it (been alternating between Lost and reading today and then realized Glee was on and also got majorly distracted by doing other things like dinner and... yeah).

So my analysis thus far is that I miss Ian Somerhalder's pretty face. Oh, right, the series. It's... interesting. So freakin' slow, though. I mean, people say Mad Men is slow, but at least they're all dressed nicely and the seasons are shorter. I mean, seriously.

Look how dapper they are:



And then...



Good thing it's a sexy cast. I mean, Matthew Fox's sexiness is the only thing that has gotten me to forgive him for being mostly dull and having the second stupidest flashbacks (the winner is Kate, of course). I mean, if Matthew Fox weren't so hot, I'd still want to kill Jack. I am not looking forward to the infamous episode about his tattoos. I feel like it'll be Black Market from Battlestar Galactica all over again. I mean, it's already got a similar plot of some random hooker coming into the life of our attractive male lead and being totally unimportant to the plot at all. And being a suck episode.

Hmm, now I am having difficulty choosing whether I think Matthew Fox or Jamie Bamber is sexier. Choices, choices... sheesh, they both have such nice arms... well, if we go with first/second season (pre-fat!Lee) Lee, I'm giving it to Jamie Bamber. Fat!Lee and Politician!Lee were distinctly unhot. But I blame that on the suits covering up his arms.



What a difference.

But anyway, back on topic...

So one of my twitter updates about Lost partway through the first season was all "HOOK UP LOSTAWAYS GODDAMMIT ALREADY" 'cause I was sick of all the "couples" that weren't coupling off. Jack/Kate, Kate/Sawyer, Claire/Charlie (before he started to suck so much and went all baby-napper and shit), Shannon/Sayid, Anybody/Anybody. Luckily, Sayid being the most awesome ever decided to make good on his flirtations, even if it was with the annoying Shannon. But they're both pretty, so it's okay. Mostly Naveen Andrews is really pretty. He's my favorite to look at since Boone's gone.



Mmmm. At least I get Ian Somerhalder in The Vampire Diaries, although he is far less sweat-sodden and more leather-jacket-y. More interesting too, though. Swoon, Ian Somerhalder. I named my camera after you, I hope you know. Well, actually, I hope you don't. I'm terrified to ever meet you now that I've named an object after you. I should've kept up the tradition of naming my electronics after fictional characters instead of legit people. Too late; Ian's got a nametag and everything.

So Lost is slow, I mentioned earlier. And though the flashbacks are cool and interesting, sometimes they are just dull. Like Hurley's flashbacks to his friend "Dave" in this latest episode. And sometimes they are Kate's flashbacks and almost immediately dull. It's like the hooker with a heart of gold concept is less fresh than the criminal with a heart of gold. The accidental criminal. Gawd, it's like the disappointment felt in Gossip Girl when Serena's dramatic "I KILLED SOMEONE" turned out to be more like "I WAS AROUND SOMEONE WHO DIED FROM DRUGS AND I CALLED 911 BUT IT DIDN'T SAVE HIM." God, Serena, you just suck so much.


(I know, Blair. I'm so disappointed by Serena's story too. You are far more interesting without "killing" anyone.)

But yeah, I think you all can tell by now that I have no interest in Kate whatsoever. Until she hooks up with Jack. Much as I like Sawyer, he is too interesting for Kate, whereas Jack is perfect: He has a compulsive need to fix people and Kate has a compulsive need to fuck herself up. They're a perfect match!

As annoying as Charlie has gotten lately, I've generally enjoyed his flashbacks (save the one with the rich daughter and the puking in the copying machine). But his actually make him out to be a more interesting person, in my books. It also might be my Dominic Monaghan bias; he was the reason I had originally wanted to watch the show (and then I heard he died and totally just gave up ever watching until recently).

Also, he's had a couple badass moments recently since he gave up trying to be a decent human being for Claire. Like totally faking out Ana Lucia and throwing one to the awesomest Sayid.


(Yeah, Charlie, that was BAMF.)

Ana Lucia is also annoying. Which sucks because Michelle Rodriguez is such a badass, but Ana Lucia is not really a badass, more just of an ass. I hope she gets looser in the time to come because I am sick of seeing her so tightly wound. I do like that though she wears the exact same tank top and jeans, she looks way better in them than any of the Lostaways do when they try to change things up (no matter what, Kate, you still look grody as hell).

So I'm giving Lost a chance. The first season hooked me like crazy, but this second season has been a lot slower. Of course, there are four more seasons after this one in which I'm sure I will be all pissy and annoyed and waiting for answers goddammit, and from what I hear, the finale doesn't give em all away. At least Battlestar Galactica gave nearly everything an answer (and dudes, even though nobody says it, I'm pretty sure enough anvils were dropped in the last season to tell us that Starbuck's an angel or whatever, so stop complaining about that one) even if some were arguably stupid answers (I personally liked the finale). But whatever. If I want fast-paced, I'll look to The Vampire Diaries or Chuck or, hell, True Blood moves pretty fast too, I'd say.

Well, Lost has got to be more fast-paced than How I Met Your Mother at least. Five seasons and we still haven't met the mother (save her ankle, that is).

So essentially, I like it thus far. Mr. Eko and Sayid are probs my faves at the moment, though I generally like Sawyer, Locke, and Michael too. Miss Michael right now. I hope he gets back soon. D: (DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING. I already know like half a dozen characters' imminent deaths.) Jack is growing on me. I'm torn about Locke. And Ben (though he hasn't been revealed as Ben yet) is thus far intriguing.

Anyway, must run. I'd watch more tonight, but it's already wicked late and I meant to be reading. Peace out. I'm sure I'll be obnoxious with another picture-heavy post soon.

PS: I'm bored by the movie fare recently, hence my focus on television. I mean, seriously, I don't care about anything until Toy Story 3 in two weeks and change.

TV talk-a-thon

I know I'm really pre-empting this, but I want to come up with some of my dream Emmy nominations that may not happen/probably won't happen.

Chuck: Best Comedy Series, Best Leading Actor in a Comedy, Best Writing for a Comedy Series (seriously, last year there were FOUR from 30 Rock... LAME), and I'm not sure who yet, but I feel as if at least one of the guest stars deserves a nod.

The Big Bang Theory: Jim Parsons for Best Leading Actor in a Comedy! And this time maybe a win? I'd also throw some props to Simon Helberg in supporting...

Glee: Well, we all know it's going to get a Comedy Series nod, but beyond that, I hope they don't go overboard with love and restrain it to a nod for Jane Lynch and (it'd be awesome if there was also a nod) for Chris Colfer in supporting.

Human Target: Total longshot, but wouldn't it be awesome to see Mark Valley get a Best Actor in a Drama nod?

Community: I'd love for a Best Comedy Series nod.

FlashForward: Can I get a nod for John Cho in supporting drama land? Or, if not John Cho, Dominic Monaghan?

The Vampire Diaries: I know The CW will never get recognized EVER, but seriously... Ian Somerhalder for Best Actor in a Drama? Best Drama Series even? And give something to that bitchin' supporting cast!

Caprica: Sci-fi will never make it... but Best Drama Series? Seriously, I love Mad Men and all, but Caprica is like ten times smarter than Mad Men, but with a robot (which ruins its chances). I'd also love to see either Eric Stolz or Alessandra Torresani get recognized in the leading categories.

Mad Men: Well, of course it'll get its usual bout of nominations, but I'm mostly just pulling for its finale getting its due. The rest of the season was good, not spectacular, but the finale and the lawnmower episode were stunning.

True Blood: Let's get some love for Nelsan Ellis! Maybe even Alexander Skarsgard, Deborah Ann Woll, Anna Paquin, Michelle Forbes, Rutina Wesley... aw hell, can we just nominate the entire cast? Also Best Drama Series, please and thank you. You already snubbed the show once last year, Emmys. Don't make that mistake again.

Dexter: Two names: Michael C. Hall and John Lithgow. Nominate the series if you'd like, just make sure those two are on the ballots.

I'm not even going to kid myself by suggesting Leighton Meester from Gossip Girl. If the Emmys wanted to recognize Leighton Meester's surprisingly excellent work on Gossip Girl, they would have done it last season when she kicked so much ass it was CRAZY.


Also, I like House, I really do, but I hope it gets snubbed this year. Maybe throw Hugh Laurie a bone because he's still been doing it well, but this has been an off season all around and there are much better shows out there that deserve recognition. Watch this be the year they actually recognize Robert Sean Leonard. Blaaaaah.

But then again, it's the Emmys. They are boring and predictable. Watch 30 Rock and Mad Men conquer again.

...ALSO, congrats Chuck for getting renewed for a fourth season, V for getting a shot at a second, and Human Target as well. I look forward to seeing you all in the fall. Vampire Diaries too, because that was one BITCH of a finale. Suchasurprisinglyawesometasticshow!