Aaaaaah! (real monsters? No, CGI ones in ads)

You know what I've been craving? McDonalds. Which is silly because the only thing I can eat there is, like the fries (and the salads and Mcflurries... just shut it, I KNOW WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T EAT).

But there are those crappy Shrek/McDonalds commercials that have been everywhere lately (and I keep telling hulu that they are NOT relevant to me and yet they keep playing as I watch Lost) and as much as I hate those commercials, every time I see them I just want McDonalds!

SEE THE MADNESS HERE.

I am so sick of that commercial. Even the 15 second version is killing me. Maybe if I finally buy some McDonalds, it'll stop. PLEASE STOP. I ALREADY SAW SHREK FOREVER AFTER AND IT SUCKED.

Although, I have two gems to share that I put into my phone's notepad because they were so awesome:

Shrek: "My donkey fell in your wafflehole." (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID)

and

Donkey: "Are my babies cute or do they make people uncomfortable?"

So ends this spontaneous mini-rant of doom. I take back what I said recently about commercials getting more awesome these days. Sure, there are the Ubykotex commercials and the Old Spice man on a horse, but beyond that... there are stupid picnickers (who the hell picnics with MCDONALDS?) not freaked out by the CGI ogre behind them.

Lost.

Yep. That's right. I decided to finally jump on the wagon.

Granted, this isn't a big surprise. I'd been meaning to watch the show since forever, but then I heard about the polar bears and was all "nah, brah, I ain't touching that shit." I vaguely remember the whole Lost versus Heroes thing too and I was all sticking with Heroes.

Ha. Smart choice.

Anyway, so with the series finale the following day, I kicked off watching Lost (because hulu put up the entire freakin' series) last Saturday (not the recent one; the one before).

I am this far:



Yeah... that episode was kinda totally dull. I actually managed to get some reading done during it (been alternating between Lost and reading today and then realized Glee was on and also got majorly distracted by doing other things like dinner and... yeah).

So my analysis thus far is that I miss Ian Somerhalder's pretty face. Oh, right, the series. It's... interesting. So freakin' slow, though. I mean, people say Mad Men is slow, but at least they're all dressed nicely and the seasons are shorter. I mean, seriously.

Look how dapper they are:



And then...



Good thing it's a sexy cast. I mean, Matthew Fox's sexiness is the only thing that has gotten me to forgive him for being mostly dull and having the second stupidest flashbacks (the winner is Kate, of course). I mean, if Matthew Fox weren't so hot, I'd still want to kill Jack. I am not looking forward to the infamous episode about his tattoos. I feel like it'll be Black Market from Battlestar Galactica all over again. I mean, it's already got a similar plot of some random hooker coming into the life of our attractive male lead and being totally unimportant to the plot at all. And being a suck episode.

Hmm, now I am having difficulty choosing whether I think Matthew Fox or Jamie Bamber is sexier. Choices, choices... sheesh, they both have such nice arms... well, if we go with first/second season (pre-fat!Lee) Lee, I'm giving it to Jamie Bamber. Fat!Lee and Politician!Lee were distinctly unhot. But I blame that on the suits covering up his arms.



What a difference.

But anyway, back on topic...

So one of my twitter updates about Lost partway through the first season was all "HOOK UP LOSTAWAYS GODDAMMIT ALREADY" 'cause I was sick of all the "couples" that weren't coupling off. Jack/Kate, Kate/Sawyer, Claire/Charlie (before he started to suck so much and went all baby-napper and shit), Shannon/Sayid, Anybody/Anybody. Luckily, Sayid being the most awesome ever decided to make good on his flirtations, even if it was with the annoying Shannon. But they're both pretty, so it's okay. Mostly Naveen Andrews is really pretty. He's my favorite to look at since Boone's gone.



Mmmm. At least I get Ian Somerhalder in The Vampire Diaries, although he is far less sweat-sodden and more leather-jacket-y. More interesting too, though. Swoon, Ian Somerhalder. I named my camera after you, I hope you know. Well, actually, I hope you don't. I'm terrified to ever meet you now that I've named an object after you. I should've kept up the tradition of naming my electronics after fictional characters instead of legit people. Too late; Ian's got a nametag and everything.

So Lost is slow, I mentioned earlier. And though the flashbacks are cool and interesting, sometimes they are just dull. Like Hurley's flashbacks to his friend "Dave" in this latest episode. And sometimes they are Kate's flashbacks and almost immediately dull. It's like the hooker with a heart of gold concept is less fresh than the criminal with a heart of gold. The accidental criminal. Gawd, it's like the disappointment felt in Gossip Girl when Serena's dramatic "I KILLED SOMEONE" turned out to be more like "I WAS AROUND SOMEONE WHO DIED FROM DRUGS AND I CALLED 911 BUT IT DIDN'T SAVE HIM." God, Serena, you just suck so much.


(I know, Blair. I'm so disappointed by Serena's story too. You are far more interesting without "killing" anyone.)

But yeah, I think you all can tell by now that I have no interest in Kate whatsoever. Until she hooks up with Jack. Much as I like Sawyer, he is too interesting for Kate, whereas Jack is perfect: He has a compulsive need to fix people and Kate has a compulsive need to fuck herself up. They're a perfect match!

As annoying as Charlie has gotten lately, I've generally enjoyed his flashbacks (save the one with the rich daughter and the puking in the copying machine). But his actually make him out to be a more interesting person, in my books. It also might be my Dominic Monaghan bias; he was the reason I had originally wanted to watch the show (and then I heard he died and totally just gave up ever watching until recently).

Also, he's had a couple badass moments recently since he gave up trying to be a decent human being for Claire. Like totally faking out Ana Lucia and throwing one to the awesomest Sayid.


(Yeah, Charlie, that was BAMF.)

Ana Lucia is also annoying. Which sucks because Michelle Rodriguez is such a badass, but Ana Lucia is not really a badass, more just of an ass. I hope she gets looser in the time to come because I am sick of seeing her so tightly wound. I do like that though she wears the exact same tank top and jeans, she looks way better in them than any of the Lostaways do when they try to change things up (no matter what, Kate, you still look grody as hell).

So I'm giving Lost a chance. The first season hooked me like crazy, but this second season has been a lot slower. Of course, there are four more seasons after this one in which I'm sure I will be all pissy and annoyed and waiting for answers goddammit, and from what I hear, the finale doesn't give em all away. At least Battlestar Galactica gave nearly everything an answer (and dudes, even though nobody says it, I'm pretty sure enough anvils were dropped in the last season to tell us that Starbuck's an angel or whatever, so stop complaining about that one) even if some were arguably stupid answers (I personally liked the finale). But whatever. If I want fast-paced, I'll look to The Vampire Diaries or Chuck or, hell, True Blood moves pretty fast too, I'd say.

Well, Lost has got to be more fast-paced than How I Met Your Mother at least. Five seasons and we still haven't met the mother (save her ankle, that is).

So essentially, I like it thus far. Mr. Eko and Sayid are probs my faves at the moment, though I generally like Sawyer, Locke, and Michael too. Miss Michael right now. I hope he gets back soon. D: (DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING. I already know like half a dozen characters' imminent deaths.) Jack is growing on me. I'm torn about Locke. And Ben (though he hasn't been revealed as Ben yet) is thus far intriguing.

Anyway, must run. I'd watch more tonight, but it's already wicked late and I meant to be reading. Peace out. I'm sure I'll be obnoxious with another picture-heavy post soon.

PS: I'm bored by the movie fare recently, hence my focus on television. I mean, seriously, I don't care about anything until Toy Story 3 in two weeks and change.

TV talk-a-thon

I know I'm really pre-empting this, but I want to come up with some of my dream Emmy nominations that may not happen/probably won't happen.

Chuck: Best Comedy Series, Best Leading Actor in a Comedy, Best Writing for a Comedy Series (seriously, last year there were FOUR from 30 Rock... LAME), and I'm not sure who yet, but I feel as if at least one of the guest stars deserves a nod.

The Big Bang Theory: Jim Parsons for Best Leading Actor in a Comedy! And this time maybe a win? I'd also throw some props to Simon Helberg in supporting...

Glee: Well, we all know it's going to get a Comedy Series nod, but beyond that, I hope they don't go overboard with love and restrain it to a nod for Jane Lynch and (it'd be awesome if there was also a nod) for Chris Colfer in supporting.

Human Target: Total longshot, but wouldn't it be awesome to see Mark Valley get a Best Actor in a Drama nod?

Community: I'd love for a Best Comedy Series nod.

FlashForward: Can I get a nod for John Cho in supporting drama land? Or, if not John Cho, Dominic Monaghan?

The Vampire Diaries: I know The CW will never get recognized EVER, but seriously... Ian Somerhalder for Best Actor in a Drama? Best Drama Series even? And give something to that bitchin' supporting cast!

Caprica: Sci-fi will never make it... but Best Drama Series? Seriously, I love Mad Men and all, but Caprica is like ten times smarter than Mad Men, but with a robot (which ruins its chances). I'd also love to see either Eric Stolz or Alessandra Torresani get recognized in the leading categories.

Mad Men: Well, of course it'll get its usual bout of nominations, but I'm mostly just pulling for its finale getting its due. The rest of the season was good, not spectacular, but the finale and the lawnmower episode were stunning.

True Blood: Let's get some love for Nelsan Ellis! Maybe even Alexander Skarsgard, Deborah Ann Woll, Anna Paquin, Michelle Forbes, Rutina Wesley... aw hell, can we just nominate the entire cast? Also Best Drama Series, please and thank you. You already snubbed the show once last year, Emmys. Don't make that mistake again.

Dexter: Two names: Michael C. Hall and John Lithgow. Nominate the series if you'd like, just make sure those two are on the ballots.

I'm not even going to kid myself by suggesting Leighton Meester from Gossip Girl. If the Emmys wanted to recognize Leighton Meester's surprisingly excellent work on Gossip Girl, they would have done it last season when she kicked so much ass it was CRAZY.


Also, I like House, I really do, but I hope it gets snubbed this year. Maybe throw Hugh Laurie a bone because he's still been doing it well, but this has been an off season all around and there are much better shows out there that deserve recognition. Watch this be the year they actually recognize Robert Sean Leonard. Blaaaaah.

But then again, it's the Emmys. They are boring and predictable. Watch 30 Rock and Mad Men conquer again.

...ALSO, congrats Chuck for getting renewed for a fourth season, V for getting a shot at a second, and Human Target as well. I look forward to seeing you all in the fall. Vampire Diaries too, because that was one BITCH of a finale. Suchasurprisinglyawesometasticshow!

We have enough damsels in distress; how about we try some knights in need?

From the April 23/30, 2010 double issue of Entertainment Weekly:

"'In the original script, there was a huge sequence where Edwin Salt saves his wife, who's in danger,' says [director, Phillip] Noyce. 'And what we found was when Evelyn Salt saved her husband in the new script, it seemed to castrate his character a little.'"

...I'm sorry, but are you saying that it is completely okay for a woman to be a damsel in distress but that it is in no way okay for a man to need a woman to save him? I'm calling shenanigans. I know that women have traditionally been cast as more damsel in distress roles and I know that I feel confident enough in my gender and sexuality to admit that I am okay putting my ego aside. I am not asking that women never be cast as damsels in distress, because it happens; everyone needs saving. But it's just that; EVERYONE needs saving, including men.

I do not think that there is anything wrong with a man playing the role of a "damsel" in distress - let's call him a "knight in need" if we want to keep with alliteration. Knights in need happen because, sorry guys, but you need us probably more than we need you. And I think that it is a horrible message to send to men to tell them that they cannot be vulnerable creatures. We are slowly coming to a time where we can see women as tough creatures, tougher than men, able to kick just as much ass. We are complex.

Men are complex too. The problem with an approach like this, however, is that it is training men to go to the old standby - they always have to be tougher than the women. Maybe the woman is the center of attention, like Evelyn Salt in the upcoming movie, Salt. But the man still needs to be just as tough, if not tougher, than the woman. She can take the spotlight, but he's still the MAN, you know?

No, actually, I don't. I don't presume to know how this will play out in the actual movie, but the way that this article was phrased, the way the director put it, it just riled me up. Being a woman is fucking hard because if we want to be more than the damsel in distress we have to prove it daily and if we are the damsel in distress then we're dragging down those women who don't want it. Men can be vulnerable and women can be tough and there is nothing wrong with either of those options. There is nothing wrong with a woman saving a man, and yet, it makes men uncomfortable.

Well, I'd honestly love to see a few men squirm to see that because that's exactly how I feel when I see silly women having to be rescued by the most masculine of men. It doesn't make me uncomfortable, however, when it makes sense, when it isn't about the gender and it's about the characters. When a female character ends up in harm's way and a male character has the ability and the will to rescue her, that's not always a painful thing for me to watch. And it would be equally comfortable if I were to watch a man end up in such a dire situation where a female protagonist would need to take charge.

Now, I have the feeling that the end product of the film will still prove that Angelina Jolie's Evelyn Salt is a badass and capable of saving her husband and that, perhaps, she will still come out being shown to be the tougher of the pair. But I also have the feeling that the original draft placed Edwin Salt's wife in a much more embarrassing situation because it could because women can be placed in more embarrassing damsel in distress scenarios. Only that's wrong.

We women may not understand quite how being kicked in the balls feels, but that doesn't mean that being kicked in the vagina doesn't hurt.

I don't define myself as a feminist, not that there's anything wrong with empowering women. When I read things like this, I realize that women still need empowering. We are not equal to men and we are not interchangeable. Sure, genders have their differences, but not like this. I hope that Evelyn Salt will prove that women can be tough too. And it'll probably be better for the story if her husband is not a total damsel in distress. But it would have been nice for men to see what we women get to see on a regular basis.

And believe me, the pain it strikes through me and the damage it does to my life as a woman lasts a lot longer than getting kicked in your balls does.

Getting Your Ass Kicked.

Yeah, my apologies as usual for not updating very often.

So I DID see Kick-Ass. Last weekend. When it came out. And yes, I quite liked it. The more I thought about it, though, the more depressing it got for me. It's not depressing like The Dark Knight, where you go in expecting a down movie and get it, but Kick-Ass is advertised as a comedy and the thing is, it is funny... but incredibly sad.

Watch out for potential spoilers, folks. I'll try to be gentle though.

As we all know, Kick-Ass is an average guy. And his first foray into crime-fighting goes very poorly. In fact, he gets stabbed. Then hit by a car. Sure, the getting hit by a car is much worse, but watching him get stabbed was just so painful to me. Once he gets out of the hospital, he's still not very super; just a super punching bag. His "super power" is total defense, which means that to be of any use, he has to get his ass kicked. I took no joy in watching him endure all the pain he does and it is was a sad fanaticism that Kick-Ass pursues his career as a crime-fighter. He's bad at it, he almost gets killed a lot, and his ass is saved by the real super hero, Hit Girl, multiple times. Watching Hit Girl is a delight. Watching Kick-Ass is just so sad.

The movie opens with the question, as we have seen in the trailers, asking why no one else tried being a superhero before Kick-Ass. And after watching this movie, I understand and myself have no desire to pursue a career of crime-fighting. There is no glorious montage where Kick-Ass learns how to fight or actually does any ass-kicking at all. Even his fight with Red Mist toward the end is just a show of his incompetent they both are. With no power, comes no responsibility, sure, but is also means having no power, including all the advantageous parts of being a superhero. While the best superhero stories involve the question of how painful and lonely it can be to be such a powerful figure (see: superhero deconstruction, aka, why I love superheroes), Kick-Ass is so ordinary it is painful to watch him get his ass kicked. When Batman is getting his ass kicked, we know he can handle it, because he is Batman. But Kick-Ass is really just Dave with a scuba suit; his mask is the only thing that makes him different than everyone else. At least Nite Owl and Silk Spectre had some training.

Dave, in the end, is just an average guy in way over his head. He can handle the pain, physically, so he survives because that's his ability: to survive. But that's it. He's just like the faceless human beings that survive with the help of the real, trained, able superheroes, or simply heroes. The tough ones who can endure the pain, but also can't do anything to stop it.

Kick-Ass is not a superhero movie; if it really was, it would be called Hit Girl, because she is the superhero. She's got the training, the bloody fight sequences, and the strong origin story. Kick-Ass is, instead, the story of everyone who is not a superhero, but people like Dave, like me, like every fan on the planet, that dreams even for a second what that life would be like. Kick-Ass shows us that that life sucks. It would be hard and unrewarding. So unless we go to ninja school or have a mother train us for a life of crime-fighting or build a super suit or get bitten by a radioactive spider, we are screwed. Because being a superhero takes more than wanting to be a superhero; it takes dedicating yourself to the role. Dave doesn't do that, so he just manages to scrape through and make a few heroic moves outside of all the non-heroic moments he has in the movie. He's the Bond girl to Hit Girl's Bond; he might lend a hand, but really, he's just normal.

So when I first left the theater, I was a bit disappointed that Dave wasn't more badass, that he wasn't more heroic. But as I thought more about it, I just realized that I wanted him to be tougher because it was hard to see him be so normal. It reminded me just how normal I am and that if I were to try what he tried, to just put on a scuba suit and fight crime, I'd probably get stabbed in the gut too. Superheroes aren't normal. And that's just fine; they shouldn't be. Being good at anything takes real dedication, not just posturing in front of a mirror and doing a few sit-ups.

I'd like to see it again, of course, to further assess it and to understand what it is going to give me rather than what I want out of it. If I want a story of a heroic super-human, I'll watch my Dark Knight or Iron Man DVDs. If I want to be brought back to Earth, well, that's what Kick-Ass is for.

Iron Man 2 hits theaters in 2 weeks. That's good, because I need some badassery to keep me sane.

YARGH VIKINGS!

Earlier this evening, I went to see How to Train Your Dragon, fully aware that this screening would include lots of children. It's been a while since I've been afraid to see a movie by myself and that includes "children's" movies. Some movies, yes, are explicitly made for those under eight-years-old and can only really be appreciated by that crowd. But the best children's movies aren't exclusive to just children.

The only real downside aside from looking like a creeper to being probably the only person over 12 without a child in the vicinity (and if anyone else was my age or older without a child there, they likely brought a friend or date) is that the little children who are unable to whisper might destroy my enjoyment. This isn't the first time I've dealt with this, though; I saw Ratatouille, WALL-E, Up, and The Princess and the Frog in theatres filled with many children while I myself was old enough to be in the alternative R-rated films by myself. And while there were some very unhushed whispering, I managed to enjoy the movie anyway.

Well, actually, it was more than enjoy. How to Train Your Dragon was fantastic. The plot wasn't particularly surprising, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable or any less well-done. I enjoyed those ninety-something minutes so much, so glad that despite being sick with a cold and plagued by an obnoxious headache, I made it out to see that movie, even with whispering tykes and a preview for what looks like the stupidest movie ever with a pornalicious title (FURRY VENGEANCE... REALLY?).

I'll never stop myself from seeing a movie just because its genre isn't made for me. My gender and my age have nothing to do with the movies I choose to see. I skip the bad rom coms (usually) and I absolutely love a good action flick (I even see some of the bad ones). I'll pass over some of the more dramatic fare made for my young adult status for animated films typically geared toward the younger generation, a la How to Train Your Dragon. Like many of the Pixar films I adore, How to Train Your Dragon follows in that grand tradition of being accessible for children and adults. I may be nearly twenty, I may have seen roughly a thousand movies, I may have seen many an experimental film, but I will not be jaded. A tale of a Viking boy and his fierce dragon is a tale worth seeing.

Simply put: How to Train Your Dragon was great. I highly recommend it for anyone.

Countdown to Kick-Ass: 19 days. YES.

I Am Excited For Blockbuster Season!

So I've been woefully negligent about seeing movies recently, but I've been wicked busy. I saw Alice in Wonderland, but that's about it for recent films. To make up for this, I'm going to write my anticipation list! Movies that I want to see this coming year and that might change, but things do that sometimes.

Currently in theatres:
Shutter Island
maybe Greenberg and The Runaways.

Shutter Island has been getting mixed reviews, but if I don't see it in theatres, I'll probably rent it because I still want to see it for myself. Greenberg has been getting pretty good reviews and I honestly think that Ben Stiller is a great actor. The Runaways has been getting a lot of attention and I'm interested in seeing Kristen Stewart in something that isn't a stupid vampire flick.

Coming soon:
How to Train Your Dragon

I've been hearing that, like Avatar, this one should be seen in 3D. I also think it looks adorable. Dreamworks isn't Pixar, but they do provide some excellently healthy competition for Pixar. Before Pixar made me cry, Dreamworks tugged at my heartstrings with The Prince of Egypt (remember back in the day when people still made mostly 2D movies with a little bit of CGI help?!) Dragon looks fantastically cute and fun. Animation isn't just for kids, yo. I will love animated movies well into my adulthood.



Hot Tub Time Machine

I'm a little torn on this one. I blame Sandra Bullock and her recent comments about comedic roles for women (i.e. they don't exist except in rom coms) and I see all these funny looking raunchy comedies and really notice how they're all men. I'll get to this in another post though. Hot Tub Time Machine looks like it could be ridiculously funny in a Hangover kind of way. So maybe I'll see it, maybe I'll rent it, maybe I'll skip it. I like comedies though!



Clash of the Titans

TITANS WILL CLASH may be a stupid tagline, but Liam Neeson! Sam Worthington! And isn't Ralph Fiennes in it too? I also love action films. Here's to hoping it is fun action and not boring, a la Matrix Revolutions.



Date Night

I didn't really give this movie the time of day but the more I see the trailers, the more I think, "y'know... this could be genuinely hilarious." It IS Tina Fey and Steve Carrel and they are funny people. I'm going to wait on the reviews to make my choice.



Kick-Ass

Now this movie... I am REALLY psyched for. As I've been promoting it to people with my enthusiasm, it looks like the movie Watchmen should have been. An adult comic book adaptation with a real look at superheroes in the real world. Not to mention with some bitchin' action sequences and Nicolas Cage as a Batman-esque character named Big Daddy (since BioShock came before Kick-Ass the comic, I wonder if it's a direct reference) BUT WITH A SHOTGUN. I LOVE SHOTGUNS. (I know; this is weird. Blame Mass Effect.) Just go watch the trailers and you can see how awesome this movie looks for yourself.



Iron Man 2

...uh... DUH I AM EXCITED. I loved Iron Man. The sequel, even if it isn't as good as the original, it still has Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark. So we're golden.



Robin Hood

Torn as I may be as to whether this Gladiator-esque adaptation (both directed by Ridley Scott and starring Russel Crowe, I also totally got this Gladiator-esque vibe of the warrior-hero being turned into a badass outlaw fighting the corrupt system from the trailer) will be any good, I still want to see it. It IS Robin Hood. And I liked Gladiator.



Shrek Forever After, Sex and the City 2, and Prince of Persia: Sands of Time

All three movies I will probably see. The last one is the only one I really feel strongly inclined to see. The other two, I liked the preview films (although Shrek the Third not as much), so I'll go see 'em. It'll be summer. I'll drive-in like crazy.



Toy Story 3

Um... okay, so The Prince of Egypt might have been the first movie I remember crying during, but Toy Story 2 came out a year later and did the same damage to me. Goddammit, Jessie's song makes me cry to this day. It's freakin' Pixar! And Toy Story! If it isn't good, I'll be shocked and upset. But chances are it will be. The real question is: will it be as good or better than the first two?



Despicable Me

Remember what I said about animated films being awesome? Well, this one looks adorably clever. And I want to see it. So there.



Inception

Probably the most high brow of the many films I'm excited for this spring/summer, Inception features a fantastic team-up of TDK's Christopher Nolan and everything's Leonardo DiCaprio. Not to mention that supporting cast... JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT. Ken Watanabe! Ellen Page! MARION COTILLARD! Michael Caine! CILLIAN MURPHY! This movie will be great. If it isn't, again, I'll be very sad.


Beyond those, into the summer, I'm also vaguely interested in The Sorcerer's Apprentice (it'll probably suck though), Salt (it could go either way), Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (I actually haven't seen the original, but hilariously, Gordon Gekko is based off of a Bard grad), The Last Airbender, and The A-Team (which looks like it has a bitchin' cast... SHARLTO COPLEY... OH WAIT SHARLTO COPLEY OKAY THIS FILM IS ON MUST SEE LIST NOW... Sharlto Copley is my favourite, if you didn't know yet).

Also, I am vowing to see Memento while I'm on spring break.

Vampire Diaries returns tomorrow!

Chuck has continued to be AMAZING this season. I will be PISSED if/when Chuck isn't nominated for an Emmy for Best Comedy, Zachary Levi for Best Actor in a Comedy, and Adam Baldwin for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy (I'd also totally pull for Yvonne too).

Um. I'm out of stuff, aside from the women in comedy thing. I'll do that later.