Getting Your Ass Kicked.

Yeah, my apologies as usual for not updating very often.

So I DID see Kick-Ass. Last weekend. When it came out. And yes, I quite liked it. The more I thought about it, though, the more depressing it got for me. It's not depressing like The Dark Knight, where you go in expecting a down movie and get it, but Kick-Ass is advertised as a comedy and the thing is, it is funny... but incredibly sad.

Watch out for potential spoilers, folks. I'll try to be gentle though.

As we all know, Kick-Ass is an average guy. And his first foray into crime-fighting goes very poorly. In fact, he gets stabbed. Then hit by a car. Sure, the getting hit by a car is much worse, but watching him get stabbed was just so painful to me. Once he gets out of the hospital, he's still not very super; just a super punching bag. His "super power" is total defense, which means that to be of any use, he has to get his ass kicked. I took no joy in watching him endure all the pain he does and it is was a sad fanaticism that Kick-Ass pursues his career as a crime-fighter. He's bad at it, he almost gets killed a lot, and his ass is saved by the real super hero, Hit Girl, multiple times. Watching Hit Girl is a delight. Watching Kick-Ass is just so sad.

The movie opens with the question, as we have seen in the trailers, asking why no one else tried being a superhero before Kick-Ass. And after watching this movie, I understand and myself have no desire to pursue a career of crime-fighting. There is no glorious montage where Kick-Ass learns how to fight or actually does any ass-kicking at all. Even his fight with Red Mist toward the end is just a show of his incompetent they both are. With no power, comes no responsibility, sure, but is also means having no power, including all the advantageous parts of being a superhero. While the best superhero stories involve the question of how painful and lonely it can be to be such a powerful figure (see: superhero deconstruction, aka, why I love superheroes), Kick-Ass is so ordinary it is painful to watch him get his ass kicked. When Batman is getting his ass kicked, we know he can handle it, because he is Batman. But Kick-Ass is really just Dave with a scuba suit; his mask is the only thing that makes him different than everyone else. At least Nite Owl and Silk Spectre had some training.

Dave, in the end, is just an average guy in way over his head. He can handle the pain, physically, so he survives because that's his ability: to survive. But that's it. He's just like the faceless human beings that survive with the help of the real, trained, able superheroes, or simply heroes. The tough ones who can endure the pain, but also can't do anything to stop it.

Kick-Ass is not a superhero movie; if it really was, it would be called Hit Girl, because she is the superhero. She's got the training, the bloody fight sequences, and the strong origin story. Kick-Ass is, instead, the story of everyone who is not a superhero, but people like Dave, like me, like every fan on the planet, that dreams even for a second what that life would be like. Kick-Ass shows us that that life sucks. It would be hard and unrewarding. So unless we go to ninja school or have a mother train us for a life of crime-fighting or build a super suit or get bitten by a radioactive spider, we are screwed. Because being a superhero takes more than wanting to be a superhero; it takes dedicating yourself to the role. Dave doesn't do that, so he just manages to scrape through and make a few heroic moves outside of all the non-heroic moments he has in the movie. He's the Bond girl to Hit Girl's Bond; he might lend a hand, but really, he's just normal.

So when I first left the theater, I was a bit disappointed that Dave wasn't more badass, that he wasn't more heroic. But as I thought more about it, I just realized that I wanted him to be tougher because it was hard to see him be so normal. It reminded me just how normal I am and that if I were to try what he tried, to just put on a scuba suit and fight crime, I'd probably get stabbed in the gut too. Superheroes aren't normal. And that's just fine; they shouldn't be. Being good at anything takes real dedication, not just posturing in front of a mirror and doing a few sit-ups.

I'd like to see it again, of course, to further assess it and to understand what it is going to give me rather than what I want out of it. If I want a story of a heroic super-human, I'll watch my Dark Knight or Iron Man DVDs. If I want to be brought back to Earth, well, that's what Kick-Ass is for.

Iron Man 2 hits theaters in 2 weeks. That's good, because I need some badassery to keep me sane.

I Am Excited For Blockbuster Season!

So I've been woefully negligent about seeing movies recently, but I've been wicked busy. I saw Alice in Wonderland, but that's about it for recent films. To make up for this, I'm going to write my anticipation list! Movies that I want to see this coming year and that might change, but things do that sometimes.

Currently in theatres:
Shutter Island
maybe Greenberg and The Runaways.

Shutter Island has been getting mixed reviews, but if I don't see it in theatres, I'll probably rent it because I still want to see it for myself. Greenberg has been getting pretty good reviews and I honestly think that Ben Stiller is a great actor. The Runaways has been getting a lot of attention and I'm interested in seeing Kristen Stewart in something that isn't a stupid vampire flick.

Coming soon:
How to Train Your Dragon

I've been hearing that, like Avatar, this one should be seen in 3D. I also think it looks adorable. Dreamworks isn't Pixar, but they do provide some excellently healthy competition for Pixar. Before Pixar made me cry, Dreamworks tugged at my heartstrings with The Prince of Egypt (remember back in the day when people still made mostly 2D movies with a little bit of CGI help?!) Dragon looks fantastically cute and fun. Animation isn't just for kids, yo. I will love animated movies well into my adulthood.



Hot Tub Time Machine

I'm a little torn on this one. I blame Sandra Bullock and her recent comments about comedic roles for women (i.e. they don't exist except in rom coms) and I see all these funny looking raunchy comedies and really notice how they're all men. I'll get to this in another post though. Hot Tub Time Machine looks like it could be ridiculously funny in a Hangover kind of way. So maybe I'll see it, maybe I'll rent it, maybe I'll skip it. I like comedies though!



Clash of the Titans

TITANS WILL CLASH may be a stupid tagline, but Liam Neeson! Sam Worthington! And isn't Ralph Fiennes in it too? I also love action films. Here's to hoping it is fun action and not boring, a la Matrix Revolutions.



Date Night

I didn't really give this movie the time of day but the more I see the trailers, the more I think, "y'know... this could be genuinely hilarious." It IS Tina Fey and Steve Carrel and they are funny people. I'm going to wait on the reviews to make my choice.



Kick-Ass

Now this movie... I am REALLY psyched for. As I've been promoting it to people with my enthusiasm, it looks like the movie Watchmen should have been. An adult comic book adaptation with a real look at superheroes in the real world. Not to mention with some bitchin' action sequences and Nicolas Cage as a Batman-esque character named Big Daddy (since BioShock came before Kick-Ass the comic, I wonder if it's a direct reference) BUT WITH A SHOTGUN. I LOVE SHOTGUNS. (I know; this is weird. Blame Mass Effect.) Just go watch the trailers and you can see how awesome this movie looks for yourself.



Iron Man 2

...uh... DUH I AM EXCITED. I loved Iron Man. The sequel, even if it isn't as good as the original, it still has Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark. So we're golden.



Robin Hood

Torn as I may be as to whether this Gladiator-esque adaptation (both directed by Ridley Scott and starring Russel Crowe, I also totally got this Gladiator-esque vibe of the warrior-hero being turned into a badass outlaw fighting the corrupt system from the trailer) will be any good, I still want to see it. It IS Robin Hood. And I liked Gladiator.



Shrek Forever After, Sex and the City 2, and Prince of Persia: Sands of Time

All three movies I will probably see. The last one is the only one I really feel strongly inclined to see. The other two, I liked the preview films (although Shrek the Third not as much), so I'll go see 'em. It'll be summer. I'll drive-in like crazy.



Toy Story 3

Um... okay, so The Prince of Egypt might have been the first movie I remember crying during, but Toy Story 2 came out a year later and did the same damage to me. Goddammit, Jessie's song makes me cry to this day. It's freakin' Pixar! And Toy Story! If it isn't good, I'll be shocked and upset. But chances are it will be. The real question is: will it be as good or better than the first two?



Despicable Me

Remember what I said about animated films being awesome? Well, this one looks adorably clever. And I want to see it. So there.



Inception

Probably the most high brow of the many films I'm excited for this spring/summer, Inception features a fantastic team-up of TDK's Christopher Nolan and everything's Leonardo DiCaprio. Not to mention that supporting cast... JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT. Ken Watanabe! Ellen Page! MARION COTILLARD! Michael Caine! CILLIAN MURPHY! This movie will be great. If it isn't, again, I'll be very sad.


Beyond those, into the summer, I'm also vaguely interested in The Sorcerer's Apprentice (it'll probably suck though), Salt (it could go either way), Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (I actually haven't seen the original, but hilariously, Gordon Gekko is based off of a Bard grad), The Last Airbender, and The A-Team (which looks like it has a bitchin' cast... SHARLTO COPLEY... OH WAIT SHARLTO COPLEY OKAY THIS FILM IS ON MUST SEE LIST NOW... Sharlto Copley is my favourite, if you didn't know yet).

Also, I am vowing to see Memento while I'm on spring break.

Vampire Diaries returns tomorrow!

Chuck has continued to be AMAZING this season. I will be PISSED if/when Chuck isn't nominated for an Emmy for Best Comedy, Zachary Levi for Best Actor in a Comedy, and Adam Baldwin for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy (I'd also totally pull for Yvonne too).

Um. I'm out of stuff, aside from the women in comedy thing. I'll do that later.